Yeah so it's been a while since I've updated! But I decided that now was a good time!!! So I'm reading this book called, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." It is a really good book and I think everyone should read it. It makes you think a lot about the relationships you develop with members of the opposite sex. I really like it so far, I'm only on the fifth chapter but I'm taking my time reading it, so that it all has time to sink in. One part in particular that stuck out at me was a part that talked about how dating tends to skip the friendship stage of a relationship. I'm going to write what it says because I think that everyone has the potential to benefit from it.
"Jack met Libby at a church-sponsored college retreat. Libby was a friendly girl with a reputation for taking her relationship with God seriously. Jack and Libby chatted during a game of volleyball and seemed to really hit it off. Jack wasn't interested in an intense relationship, but he wanted to get to know Libby better. Two days after the retreat he called her up and asked if she'd like to go out to a movie the next weekend. She said yes. Did Jack make the right move? Well, he did in terms of scoring a date, but if he really wanted to build a friendship, he more than likely struck out. One-on-one dating has the tendency to move a guy and girl beyond friendship and toward romance too quickly. Have you ever known someone who worried about dating a longtime friend? If you have, you probably heard that person say something like this: 'He asked me out, but I'm just afraid that if we start actually dating it will change our friendship.' What is this person really saying? People who make statements like that, whether they realize it or not, recognize that dating encourages romantic expectations. In a true friendship you don't feel pressured by knowing that you 'like' the other person or that he or she 'likes' you back. You feel free to be yourself and do things together without spending three hours in front of the mirror making sure you look perfect. C.S. Lewis describes friendship as two people walking side by side toward a common goal. Their mutual interest brings them together. Jack skipped this commonality stage by asking Libby out on a typical, no-brainer, dinner-and-movie date where their 'coupleness' was the focus. In dating, romantic attraction is often the cornerstone of the relationship. The premise of dating is 'I'm attracted to you; therefore, let's get to know each other.' The premise of friendship, on the other hand is, ' We're interested in the same things; let's enjoy these common interests together.' If romantic attraction forms after developing a friendship, it's an added bonus. Intimacy without commitment is defrauding . Intimacy without friendship is superficial. A relationship based solely on physical attraction and romantic feelings will last nly as long as the feelings last."
So maybe when people use the excuse, I don't want to ruin our friendship, they are being sincere. I don't know. I believe that a solid relationship can only stem from a solid friendship. But that is my opinion, and I've believed that way before I ever even started reading this book. Anyway, I think that is enough for the time being. Let me know if you agree with me on this subject. It's cool to see what other people think. But I need to go get ready to lose my volleyball game! XOXO