I've come to enjoy the quiet charm and appeal this place has. For instance, tonight, as I lay here in bed, I haven't heard one train and part of me thinks that is the reason I can not fall asleep. The multiple trains that zoom down their tracks, to places that are unknown to me, have become part of my nightly bed time routine. I lay here and the sound of their blaring horns are the sounds that lull me off to where my dreams take over. The sound of the trains mixed with the sound of the low flying C-130's and other various planes are part of the charm of this place. It's dawning on me that I don't want to leave. I"m just getting to know the charms and quirks of a place that strangely enough reminds me of home. Not home as in I want to be back there and this will do until I can return. But home as in, it's a safe enough reminder but new enough to allow me to move on. The ever possible reality that I may have to load my things into a moving truck in a few short months looms overhead and has me scared and wanting to find a place to stake my claim to. I've only just begun to fall in love with what this place has to offer, I'm not sure that I'm ready to pack up and move somewhere new. Oddly enough I feel like a real part of a military family and I don't know how people can move around like the military lifestyle requires of families.
I got a job today. It's working the front desk at a busy OB/GYN office. I'm excited but slightly scared too. I want to work and be productive but the idea that I may have to move in December has me nervous to take up any permanent roots, including getting settled into a job. I've realized that I don't want to move back to Michigan. But does that mean I should stay here, in Arkansas and live my life, or should I follow Justin and Kristy and start a new life where they do? I want to start my OWN life...but do I want to do it all alone, with no family or friends to fall back on? Am I ready for that step in life? I think slowly but surely I am being molded for that point in my life to come. I'm ready to start over fresh and new and ready for what the next phase of life is going to bring...whatever it may be.