Things have been ok around here lately. Just mellow. Ive been kind of relaxing just taking it easy. I need to start studying for some tests that are coming up but other than that....not much with school is going on. I have a few big projects due this week. Whatever. I talked to a lot of my family today. First my brother called me from Texas which was really cool. We talked about the whole idea of me joining the service, and he gave me some advice. So now I just need to put a plan into action. We'll see how things work out. Then after that I called my Aunt and talked to her for a good hour or so. That was cool I haven't talked to her in a while...her and my cousin are coming down next Saturday to bring me some pasta salad. I'm very very excited!!! Haha..then tonight, my mom called, and my neices were there, so I got to talk to Blaik and Amber and Quinn. That was really fun, I haven't seen them since Christmas. It's really good to see them again! I was very very excited!! I think they are going to be there utnil Tuesday and I have to go home on Tuesday for an interview with Saginaw County Parks and Recreation. I am very excited and I am hoping that I can get a pretty decent job there this summer. A few days a week. Nothing too streunous. Hahahaha....My brother and I went out to PF Changs on Friday. Oh my gosh it was soooo good! I loved it. I went to JoAnn's and got the rest of the fabric to finish my quilt, so I'm excited about that. Now i just need to get it finished! Keep your fingers crossed for me that things will start to look up in the boy department! I'm hoping! Well thats all for now....until next time....Over and Out!

I don't know what it is that makes me love you so
I only know I never want to let you go
'Cause you started something, can't you see
That ever since we met, you've had a hold on me?

It happens to be true
I only want to be with you

It doesn't matter where you go or what you do
I wanna spend each moment of the day with you
Look what has happened with just one kiss
I never knew that I could be in love like this

It's crazy but it's true
I only want to be with you

You stopped and smiled at me, asked me if I'd care to dance
I fell into your open arms and I didn't stand a chance

Now listen honey, I just wanna be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together honey I don't care
'Cause you started something, can't you see
That ever since we've met, you've had a hold on me?

No matter what you do
I only want to be with you

You stopped and smiled at me, asked me if I'd care to dance
I fell into your open arms and I didn't stand a chance
Now listen honey, I just wanna be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together honey I don't care

Well well well. Nothing much has happened in the past few days. I've just been busy with school and work. You know how it all goes. Life as a college student. Today has been an odd day. Like the things that happened today would normally put me in this horendous mood but surprisingly, I've just let them roll off my back. For instance, there was this kid in my communications class that I have found incredibly attractive all semester right. Well he's in my section and always sits right in front of Jess and I in lecture. I've never gotten up the nerve to talk to the kid, well I've talked to him, but I've never had a real conversation with him. So, I didn't really know his name, I had an idea what it was..but I wasn't sure. So today, he wore this shirt that had his last name on it. So I came home and looked it up on our class list. Well needless to say that I found out his name, and also found out that HE'S MARRIED!!!!!!!! That like seriously knocked the wind out of my sails!!! BOOOO!!! Anyway, then I get an email telling me when I can register for next years classes. I have the lastest date ever. It's on the Monday of the last week of classes. That is so bogus. Seriously, it's not even cool! So now I have to deal with that. Than I call my brother to see if he was going to stop by on his way home from work....and he was like well I was gonna see if you wanted to grab a bite to eat. But I had to go to this stupid work meeting but I told him to call me tomorrow and he can take me out tomorrow!!! So I've decided that it is time for me to stop being stupid and finally talk to this kid that I have liked for an extremely long time. Well not necessarily talk to him because I talk to him all the time, but get up the nerve to see if he wants to hang out or something sometime. I need to do it before this summer, because then the opportunity might not be available. So I'm going to do it, and I'm going to do it soon!!!! But anyway, thats all for now. Until next time...over and out!

All I hear is raindrops falling on the rooftop Oh baby tell me why'd you have to go Cause this pain I feel It wont go away And today I'm officially missing you I thought that from this heartache I could escape But I fronted long enough to know There ain't no way And today I'm officially missing you Oh can't nobody do it like you Said every little thing you do Hey baby say it stays on my mind And I, I'm officially All I do is lay around Two years full of tears From looking at your face on the wall Just a week ago you were my baby Now I don't even know you at all I don't know you at all Well I wish that you would call me right now So that I could get through to you somehow But I guess it's safe to say baby safe to say That I'm officially missing you Well I thought I could just get over you baby But I see that's something I just can't do From the way you would hold me To the sweet things you told me I just can't find a way To let go of you It official You know that I'm missing you All I hear is raindrops And I'm officially missing you

~Officially Missing You~ Tamia

Man I'm not really up for all of this its St. Patricks day drink green beer stuff. For some reason I just don't feel like drinking. I think a lot has changed in me. I mean last year I would have had a hard time not drinking, but this year its like its not a big deal. Oh well...and besides, I can't drink anymore this year because I need to lose 20 pounds in like six weeks. And drinking sure isn't going to help me out in that area. I talked to Paige today about something that has been on my mind lately, and she reassured me and told me that if it was something i really thought I should do, to go for it! So I think I'm going to! Few of you know what I'm talking about! So we'll see how it works out! Anyway, I think I'm getting sick...I've been feeling really down these past few days. Just run down and out of it...I don't know we'll see. But anyway, I found out some really good news last night about a certain person. Maybe there is hope!!! Keep your fingers crossed for me!!! Anyway, thats all for now. Until next time....over and out!

My spring break was really really good. It wasn't your normal lets go out and get wasted, spend all day at the beach, come back with a nice tan spring break. Mine was more like annoying 50+ hour car ride with the family and then spending a few quality days with my brother. The first day that we were in Texas, it was beautiful....like nice warm 70-75 degree weather. The next few days weren't so nice. It rained most of the time we were there, but oh well. Anyway, I got to see Justin....that was great! I mean he and I have never really been that close, but for some reason I was just so happy to see him and was so incredibly proud of him. He looked so good. The Air Force has changed him soo much and it is so awesome! I had such a good time just being down there. I am so proud of him! I got so many pictures while I was there. I went crazy with the camera! Hahaha...thats good though! Justin is trying to get me to join the Air Force too. He's not saying that I should go active duty, but maybe just join the reserves for the time being and that way, I can get the hang of it all and just kind of see if its for me or not. I mean it definitely can't hurt anything. That is for sure, if anything its going to teach me more than any college could. Plus, they would help me pay for college and probably I would be getting a pay check every month too. So that would be really cool! I don't know, maybe it is something I should look into! Who knows, maybe this summer I'll be in the same place Justin was two weeks ago! I'm not really sure what it is, or why it's happening but I have been thinking about Wes again, a lot! It seemed like the entire time I was down there, he was all I could think about. It was really weird. I miss him a lot. I kept telling myself that I was over him...but I'm not! I'm not at all and it drives me nuts!!! Plain and simple! I wish God would help me get over him...or at least make it so that it wasn't so hard. But then again, I think he has more important things to be worrying about other than who I like and who I don't!!! It's something I need to be able to do on my own! I don't know! Let's see...I guess I should tell about my actual trip. We left on Tuesday morning, and got into San Antonio at like 11-11:30 Wednesday afternoon. So that wasn't too bad. We went to the hotel, dropped our crap off, then we drove out to the base to make sure we knew where we were going, then we went down town and walked around for a little while. It was a very early night on Wednesday because we had to be at the base at like 8:30. So we got there at like 9 or so and saw what they call the Airman's run. Justin was right in the front of his flight because he was an element leader, which is pretty cool. So then we just hung out at the base all day until they had what they call the Retreat, where they take the flag down and stuff. Then we got to hang out with Justin on base until like 7 or so. That was cool. Then on Friday, was the actual graduation and it rained all morning until they actually cancelled the parade and the graduation was held at the individual squadron. Well I got soaked and it was cold outside so I froze to death. The graduation was really short and to the point. Then we got to go see his bed and stuff. Boy, it was the neatest place I have ever seen in my entire life. The latrine (bathroom) was so clean that I was so afraid to wash my hands because I was afraid to leave my finger prints on the handles. Then we got to hang out with Justin all day there until like 7 again. Saturday Justin got a town pass where he could go off base, so we got to hang with him all day, and we downtown and walked around the alamo and along the river walk. That was really cool. I got lots of pictures of that too. Then after we did all that stuff, we took Justin back to the base and went to the SBC center and waited for the guys to come for a hockey game. So we hung out a few extra hours with Justin at the hockey game. That was cool. But at like 9 or so Saturday night we left San Antonio. That was fun, we met some of his friends, and they were funny as all hell, not to mention there were a few cute ones too! Haha, I'm a girl...of course thats what i"m looking for....cute boys!!! BUt the car ride home was ridiculous. First I slept most of the way....I woke up at like 6:30 to my mom saying we can't just leave it here. It was really weird too because i had just had this dream about finding this stray dog that was really under nurished, I woke up to find this stray dog that my mom found at a gas station. So needless to say we now have a new dog at our house that we found in Oklahoma and brought home with us. So that was something different..only our family!!!! But then we get to Indiana....and we get into an accident.....Only us. So my uncle freaks out on my grandma. So that was bad, so we had to sit on the side of a highway in Indiana for like an hour waiting for the cops to come. Uh....nerve wracking. So I've decided that I am never going on another car trip with my family. I would much rather go on a car trip with a bunch of 6 years old hyped up on sugar. It would be much less stressful. But anyway, that was my amazing spring break. Haha....but anyway, I have a speech that is due tomorrow and I need to get it done. So until next time....over and out!

Hope life's been good to you since you've been gone. I'm doin' fine now - I've finally moved on. It's not so bad - I'm not that sad. I'm not suprised just how well I've survived. I'm over the worst, and I feel so alive. I can't complain - I'm free again. And it only hurts when I'm breathing. My heart only breaks when it's beating. My dreams only die when I'm dreaming. So, I hold my breath - to forget. Don't think I'm lyin' 'round cryin' at night. There's no need to worry, I'm really all right. I've never looked back - as a matter of fact, It only hurts when I breathe. Shania Twain ~ It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing.

Its been a while since i updated with something real. Not a lot has been going on with me. Just school, had midterms and stuff to study for, so i have been pretty busy lately. Thankfully its spring break and i'm leaving for texas tomorrow! I am so excited..I can't wait! Maybe I'll actually come back with somewhat of a tan. Haha...anyway, thats it. I'll update when I get back from TX!!! Until next time...Over and out!

Last Cigarette:: prolly like three weeks ago
Last Alcoholic Drink:: the 22...for lou's birthday
Last Car Ride:: sunday when we went to taco bell
Last Kiss:: christmas break
Last Good Cry:: prolly like a month ago.
Last Library Book checked out:: one i checked out last year on eating disorders
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:: Win A Date With Tad Hamilton
Last Book Read:: My Bondage My Freedom
Last Movie Rented:: good freaking question it would probably have to be Freaky Friday from over Christmas break.
Last Cuss Word Uttered:: f bomb
Last Beverage Drank:: good ole pepsi
Last Food Consumed:: sour cream and cheddar
Last Crush:: if you knowme, than you know there are two people and you know who both of them are!
Last Phone Call:: someone from the Student Admissions Comittee asking if I wanted to do an overnight visit.
Last TV Show Watched:: Making the Band 2
Last Time Showered:: a few hours ago
Last Shoes Worn:: my blue tennis shoes
Last CD Played:: HAHAHAHAHA
Last Item Bought:: fiood
Last Download:: ????
Last Annoyance:: this damn virus thing that ashley and i got.
Last Disappointment:: realizing that wes didn't really care for me like i wanted him to
Last Soda Drank:: pepsi
Last Thing Written:: you're reading it
Last Key Used:: my room key
Last Word Spoken:: piece of shit
Last Sleep:: this afternoon
Last IM:: brandon
Last Sexual Fantasy:: um....
Last Weird Encounter:: the other day when the guy stopped me in the hall and asked me why i was wearing a central sweatshirt if i didnt go there?
Last Ice Cream Eaten:: vanilla soft serve fromt he caf
Last Time Amused:: at myself watching american idol
Last Time Wanting To Die:: during my bio test today
Last Time In Love:: afew months ago
Last Time Hugged:: who knows
Last Time Scolded:: probably the last time i pissed my mom off
Last Time Resentful:: i don't think i resent anyone
Last Chair Sat In:: this stiff computer chair
Last Underwear Worn:: white bikini's
Last Shirt Worn:: USC sweatshirt
Last Webpage Visited:: mail.msu.edu

ok honestly, why do people hide things? You don't make things any better by keeping them to yourselves. Oh well, I know that and hence the reason I try to be upfront and honest with most people. I was such a good student today. I studied like no other. It feels good, I actually feel like I know something!!!! I hosted a student today for the day at state program through the student admissions comittee. It was really cool, the weather was crappy but we still managed to have a semi-decent time. I wasn't really sure like what she wanted to see or whatever, but oh well, I took her to the Museum, the Art Museum, the International Center, the Student Services Building, here, the caf, pretty general places. But she isn't sure where she wants to go yet, so I tried to make it seem really nice, and cool. Her parents were ok. They seemed a little weird, but hey what parents aren't!!! Anyway, it was overall a good day. It got kind of boring and it seemed to drag on forever. But hopefully I made a good impression on someone's day! So yeah, anyway, I think I have met the man of my dreams! Haha seriously....it's crazy, actually i'm crazy. i'm not going to go into any further details but I'm just going to say, that maybe one day I will have a chance!!!! But for now, I'm giong to bed...it's been a long day and I'm freaking tired....Until Next Time...over and out!