Time seems to be just flying by. Honestly, we have one more week until Spring Break. And for us Spring Break is half way through our semester. So our semester is almost over. It's crazy to think that I have almost completed my second year of college!!! CRAZY! Bryce came down here tonight and we sat and talked for a while. He brought up the fact that since I'm going to be workin EL over the summer I might as well stay here and take classes while I'm doing it. That does make more sense I suppose! But I kind of want to spend the summer at home as well. I don't know we'll see how things go. I applied for a job at home working for Saginaw County Parks and Recreation and if I get that job than I will just have to commute back and forth once a week. Stay with my grandparents Sunday through Wednesday and stay at home Thursday through Saturday. I mean I have a job offer so I might as well take it, and it's going to help me for next year because I plan on working in the office again. So I might as well just continue working there over the summer. Besides, who can turn down money!!!! Anyway, I'm getting reallly excited for Spring Break. I'm really looking forward to some good HOT Texas weather. Not to mention the fact that I am really looking forward to seeing my brother. It's weird before he left, I never really thought about him, like when he was living in South Carolina. But now that he has joined the military, it's way different. So I am really looking forward to going to see him. Not to mention it makes me really proud that he is doing something with his life! Plus I get to go to San Antonio. I am really bummed that it is the same week as Spring Break because once again that means I had to put off the Alabama trip, and for those of you who I was going to visit, if you're reading this....I REALLY WAS PLANNING ON COMING!!!! I will get down there sometime soon. I really need to go down and hang for a while...maybe this summer some time will open up and I'll get down there! Who knows. The roomie were gone this weekend, so I got some down time. It was very relaxing, I just chilled out and watched some TV, did some homework and cleaned a little bit. It was peaceful and calm here. I never do anything and I enjoy being the boring person that I am. I never have drama to deal with because of one drunk night, or worrying about how I'm going to get my HW done with a hangover. It's a good feeling to have. I had my fair share of it last year, and I'm all about sitting here and doing nothing while I have the opportunity! Don't get me wrong I have some good fun once in a while...but it is definitely in moderation. I had a really good time on Valentines Day. So that just goes to show that I'm not reall all that boring!!!! I don't know what got me talking about that but whatever...I'm gonna go do something now. Until next time....Over and Out!

I'm BORED...so sue me!

001)you start this? 1:32

002) Name?: Michelle Lee Staten
003) Date of birth?:2-17-84
004) Sex?: female
005) Height? 5'4?
006) Eye color?: blue

007) Weight?: 145
008) Location?: East Lansing
009) Where were you born?: Kettering, OH
012) Do you have crush on someone?: yeah kinda i suppose
013) Do you have a bf/gf?: nope
015) How long have you been together? ^^
016) What are you wearing right now?: stolen track shorts and a SVSU sweatshirt
017) Would you have sex before marriage?:well considering its already done..yeah

018) Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers? 8th Grade...Mr. Maloney and Mr. McKenzie..remember them? and who hasn't had a crush on Henninger?
019) Are you a virgin?: no
020) Do you smoke?: on occasion
021) Do you drink?: once in a while
022) Are you ghetto?: not really
023) Are you a player?: no
024) What are your favorite colors?: orange pink and yellow
025) What is your favorite animal?: probably a dog or something boring like that
026) Do you have any birthmarks?: i did..but i had it removed a few years ago...now its a nasty scar!
027) Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?: i'm sure one of my brothers beat me up at least once
028) Who are your best friends?: Probably Beth and sarah...
029) Have you ever beat someone up? yeah I was mean when I was little!
031) Have you ever been slapped?: my mom slapped me once
032) Do you get online a lot?: i wouldn't be able to function if i didn't
033) Are you shy or outgoing?: a little of both..depends on the situation
034) Do you shower?: yea, at least once a day
035) Do you hate school?: who doesnt?
036) Do you have a social life?:sure
037) How easily do you trust people? not hardly....
038) Have you ever lied to your best friends?:yeah one of the biggest mistakes ever
039) Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing? no, i don't think so
040) Would you ever sky dive?: why not!
041) Do you like to dance?: yeah even though im not very good!

WHAT HAPPENED TO 42-67????

068) Have you ever been out of state?: yeah..to multiple different places
069) Do you like to travel?: LOVE IT
071) Have you ever been suspended from school?: nope
071) Do you want to get out of your hometown?:already have
072) Are you spoiled?: not really
073) Are you a brat?: who can't be?
074) Have you ever been dumped?: probably...
076) What's your favorite drink?: right now its pepsi
077) Do you like Snapple?: no
078) Do you drink a lot of water?: yea
079) What toothpaste do you use?: crest whitening with scope
080) Do you have a cell phone or pager?:yup
081) Do you have a curfew?: nope
082) Who do you look up to?: my brothers, my mom, my step-dad and myg randparents
083) Are you a role model?: i try to be good
085) What name brand do you wear the most?: who the hell knows
086) What kind of jewelry do you wear?: a pair of silver hoop earings, a pair of diamond earings, a watch and on occasion a necklace
087) What do you have pierced?: my ears
088) What do you want pierced?: my ears
089) Do you like taking pictures?: not really, but i don't dislike it either. i'm impartial
090) Do you like getting your picture taken?: not really..only if i look silly in it!
091) Do you have a tan?: no..can we say DEATH WALKING
092) Do you get annoyed easily?: oh yes
093) Have you ever started a rumor?:yeah i used to live in St. Charles
094) Do you have your own phone/phone line?: yea, my cell phone and the one here at school
095) Do you have your own pool?: nope
096) Do you have any siblings?: 2 brothers, 4 half sisters
097) Do you prefer boxers or briefs? whatever they're comfortable in
098) Have you ever been played?: yeah
099) Have you ever played someone?: i dont think so...maybe though
100) Do you get along with your parents? sometimes i try,
102) How do you vent your anger?: smoke, write
103) Have you ever run away?: only for a couple hours when i was little
104) Have you ever been fired from a job?:nope
105) Do you even have a job?: yup, I work in the office of career services and placement
106) Do you daydream a lot?: yeah
107) Do you have a lot of ex's?: kinda
108) Do you run your mouth?: sometimes. nothing too serious though
109) What do you want a tattoo of?: i want a four leaf clover...but i dont know where
110) What do you have a tattoo of?: a sun, and a chain of daisies
111) What are your favorite flowers?: roses and daisies
112) What does your ex bf/gf look like?: tall, skinny, dark hair, big ears (they were cute),
113) What does your most recent crush look like?: average height, dark hair, kinda shaggy hair...has the intellectual college look going...hes cute!
114) Have you ever been bitched out?: yeah..oh well
115) When was the last time you bitched someone out?: who knows
116) Are you rude?: some people tend to think i am
117) What was the last compliment you received?: prolly cute hair.
118) Do you like getting dirty?: i'm not sure
119) Is your bellybutton an innie or outie?: innie
120) Are you flexible?: used to be
121) What is your heritage?: who the hell knows!!!!
123) What does your hair look like right now?: big giant curly pig tails!
124) Could you ever be a vegetarian?: NO WAY
125) When was your last real heartbreak?: About a month ago
126) Describe your looks?: out of shape....
127) If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color?: HOT PINK
129) Would you ever date someone older than you?: of course
130) When was the last time you were drunk?: Valentines Day
131) When was the last time you went on a date?: Christmas Break
132) Would you rather give or receive oral sex?: give
133) Have you ever given? yup
134) Have you ever received? yup
135) Have you ever had an eating disorder? yeah in like 7th grade
136) Do you have one now?: nope
137) How many rings until you answer the phone? until i see a name on the caller id
138) Have you ever been skinny dipping?: yeah
140) Do you look more like your mother or father?: i dont know
141) Do you cry a lot?: only when im really pissed off or extremely sad
142) Do you ever cry to get your way? nah
143) If you had to amputate one limb, what would it be?: my little toe
144) What phrase do you use most on the phone?: fun stuff
145) Are you the romantic type?: i can be
146) Have you ever been chased by cops?:kinda..i tried running fromthem the first time i got pulled over....they make it look so easy on TV!!! haha
147) What do you like most about your body?: hmmm...i dunnno prolly the fact that i have nice legs
148) What do you like least about your body?: my chest, my stomach...and the fact that i have no butt!
150) When was the last time you threw up?: Valentines Day
151) In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes? brunettes, but it doesn't really matter
152) What do the shoes you last wore look like?:??? i haven't worn shoes in a while! dont remember
153) Do you ever wear shirts to show your belly?: can't say that i do
154) What about cleavage?: once in a great while!
155) Is your best friend a virgin?: Yes Sir
156) Have you ever fucked someone up?: uh no
157) Have you ever been fucked up?: no
158) What color are your underwear right now?: black
160) What size shoe do you wear?: 7-7.5
161) What jewelry are you wearing now?: none
162) What is your screen name on AIM: meeshamsu
163) Would you pick a wedgie in public?: yeah for sure
164) How are you feeling right now?: BORED and lonely
165) When was the last time you were at a party?: Valentines Day
166) Have you ever given a lap dance?: nope. i don't think anyone would want me to
167) What do you sleep in?: pj pants and a t-shirt
168) Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?: yeah someone started a rumor i was pregnant at applebees when i worked there!!!
169) What is one of your bad qualities?: i tend to give my heart away too easily and I'm very pessimistic
170) What is one of your good qualities? i'm a good listener
171) Would you marry for money?: no because you wouldn't be happy...just rich
172) What do you drive?: i don't....
173) Are you more of a mama or daddy's child?: mom
174) When was the last time you cried in school?: senior year when i had appendicitis
175) Do you wear Chucks?: no but i wish i did
176) For two million dollars, would you pose for Playboy? i dunno
187) What time are you finishing this?: 1:54

I think I'm addicted to these things!!!! :(

I FEEL: tired
I SEE : words.
I NEED: a freaking guy!
I FIND: nothing.
I WANT: the guy from my Com class!!!
I HAVE: to much junk
I WISH: i were skinny
I LOVE: my family
I HATE: Depression.
I MISS: my brother
I FEAR: fling and being unsuccessful
I HEAR: the guys upstairs being loud
I SMELL: lotion
I CRAVE: pepsi
I SEARCH: nothing
I WONDER: What went wrong
I REGRET: asking that question

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU....

SMILED: prolly when bryce was down here..hes a funny guy!
LAUGHED: ^^^
CRIED: hmm...a couple weeks ago
BOUGHT SOMETHING: Friday
DANCED: a few days ago
WERE SARCASTIC: today earlier.
KISSED SOMEONE: Christmas Break
WATCHED YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE: its been a while

A Last Time For Everything

LAST BOOK YOU READ: My Bondage My Freedom
LAST MOVIE YOU SAW: my Big Fat Greek Wedding
LAST THING YOU HAD TO DRINK: water
LAST TIME YOU SHOWERED: This mornin.
LAST THING YOU ATE: breadsticks

DO YOU...?

SMOKE: once in a while
DO DRUGS: no
HAVE SEX: no, but i have
SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS: one unless my eeyore pillow counts
LIVE IN THE MOMENT: Always.
HAVE A BF/GF: noppe
HAVE A RECURRENT DREAM?: no
PLAY AN INSTRUMENT: i used to play the saxophone
BELIEVE THERE IS LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS: no not really
REMEMBER YOUR FIRST LOVE: yes
READ THE NEWSPAPER: on occasion

HAVE ANY GAY OR LESBIAN FRIENDS: yup
BELIEVE IN MIRACLES: yes
BELIEVE IT IS POSSIBLE TO STAY FAITHFUL FOREVER: yes
CONSIDER YOURSELF TOLERANT OF OTHERS: most of the time.
CONSIDER LOVE A MISTAKE: no.
LIKE THE TASTE OF ALCOHOL: some isn't bad
HAVE A FAVORITE CANDY: SKITTLES....and all suckers
BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY: mm'k sure.
BELIEVE IN MAGIC: no
BELIEVE IN GOD: yes
PRAY: not nearly enough
GO TO CHURCH: when im home
HAVE ANY SECRETS: a few
HAVE ANY PETS: not really
DO WELL IN SCHOOL: hmmm..i used to.
GO TO OR PLAN TO GO TO COLLEGE: yes
HAVE A MAJOR: yeah
TALK TO STRANGERS WHO IM YOU: yes.
WEAR HATS: sometimes.
HAVE ANY PIERCINGS: yeah two in each ear
HATE YOURSELF: sometimes
HAVE AN OBSESSION: many.
COLLECT ANYTHING: probably
HAVE A BEST FRIEND: yes
WISH ON STARS: yes only the shooting ones..even my brother does it!
LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING: no not really
HAVE ANY BAD HABITS: yes many

You called yesterday to basically say that you care for me but that you're just not in love. Immediately I pretended to be feeling similarly and led you to believe I was ok to just walk away from the one thing that is unyielding and sacred to me. Well i guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it and I'm going to the extremes to prove I'm fine without you. But in reality I'm slowly losing my mind. Underneath the constant smile gradually I'm dying inside. Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly 'cause i don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering. So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night and turn down all the lights and then break down and cry. So what do you do when somebody you're devoted to suddently just stops loving you and it seems they haven't got a clue of the pain that rejection is putting you through. Do you clind to your pride and sing I will survive? Do you lash out and say how dare you leave this way? Do you hold on in vain as they just slip away? Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it and I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you but in reality I'm slowly loosing my mind. Undeeneath the constant smile gradually I'm dying inside. Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly 'cause I don't want to reveal the fact that I'm suffering. So I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night and turn down all the lights and then I break down and cry. Gonna break ya down, only if ya let it. Everyday crazy situations rockin my mind tryin to break me down, but I won't let it. Forget it, forget I be feelin like you're breaking me down, kickin me round, stressin me out. I think I better go and get out and let me release some stress. Don't ever wanna feel no pain, pain. Hopin for the sun but it looks like rain. Lord, i just wanna maintain. Yeah I can feel the pressures, y'all, but nevertheless Krayzie won't fall. It's over It's endin here. Mariah Carey Breakdown

Today was a day of pure and utter laziness! I went to IAH this morning, and I had to drag myself to that, then I came back here and slept for the remainder of the day! Oh the joy of being a college student! I've been doing pretty well with going to class and such. The only class I've really been skipping out on is Bio, and thats because honestly it really isn't worth going to. The lady doesn't know how to answer questions that the class asks, so in turn she asks the question one person asked to the entire class. Lady, you're the teacher and should know how to answer it...not expect us to! So I have been skipping out on that one pretty regularly, but other than that, classes are going well. I got to thinking and I've decided that I should probably really start looking into all the Med School stuff, because honestly, I haven't planned for it at all. It was always just what I wanted to do, and I never actually thought I would stick with it. And now that I am the reality of it all is finally hitting me. My GPA SUCKS ROYALLY, and there is no way that I will get into any Medical School with the GPA that I have. I better pray to God that I do really well on my MCAT's because if I don't I'm screwed! I definitely need to start thinking about where I want to apply to Med School, because I am going to definitely need to apply to more than one. It's my future and I definitely need to start getting that all taken care of. On to another note, this boy I wrote about the other day, I wonder about that whole situation. I have a feeling that I like him because it would be convenient. I don't want that, I want to like someone because I like how they make me feel, or the way they treat me, not because I want to be with someone and they like me in return. I definitely want to leave my options open. There is this boy in my communication's class and he is really cute. Plus he seems really down to earth, I don't really know though because I haven't really ever talked to him. I am making it my goal to though, I think he would be super fun to hang out with. But we'll see how that goes. But as for the other person, I'm just going to let things play out. They will happen the way they are supposed to! My step-dad is back in the hospital. I'm really beginning to think that maybe he should just rent the damn thing. Like rent his own little wing of the hospital and just come and go as he pleases. I feel really bad that I can't be home to be with my mom. This is really hard for her. I mean it's not like shes had the easiest life and she finally finds someone who makes her happy and is good to her family, and shes losing him too! It's hard on us all! He's been such a big part of my life for like 6 or 7 years now. He has been the only dad I've really known for that amount of time. So it's hard, but then again it's not too bad because for as long as I've known him, i've known this was coming. I've dealt with the hospital stays, all the medications, the oxygen tanks, and all the other stuff that comes along with it....so I guess in a way I've dealt with the fact that I knew his time would run out sometime or another. It sounds really awful to say, but it's the truth, you know and it's easier to just accept what I know is going to come. I mean everything happens the way God has it planned, and it's not like Ron hasn't been there and done things for me that make me a better person. He's lived his life, and made memories and will definitely not be forgotten, granted he is still young and has a lot of life ahead of him, but I don't want to watch him suffer any longer. i know it sounds mean and awful, but it takes a lot of strength and courage to say and accept that type of thing! So that is my life right now in a nut shell....AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! Until next time....over and out!

Name: Michelle Lee Staten
:backwards: netats eel ellehcim
:Does your name mean anything? Not really
:Were you named after anyone?: My mom named me after an actress named michelle Lee...shes old..and sometimes shes still on Lifetime movies!
:Nickname(s): shell, sheller, meesh, meesha, meeshee, sis
:Screenname(s): Meeshamsu
:Date of birth: 02.17.84
:Place of birth: Kettering, OH
:Current location: East Lansing!!!
:Religion: I don't practice any certain religion....
:Height: 5.04
:Shoe size: 7-7.5
:Hair color: Brown
:Eye color: blue/grey
:Right, lefty, or ambidextrous?: righty
:How old are you mentally?: ??? i dont know
:Describe yourself in 5 words: easy to get along with
:What are your worst qualities: Procrastination
:What are your best qualities: My maturity, the way i look at situations, and my ability to give sound advice.

Do You Have...
:Any sisters: yup....a few
:Any brothers: yeas..a few
:Any pets: there are two cats at my house..neither of which i consider MY pet
:A disease: No thankfully
:A pager: Maybe in like 10 years or so
:A personal phone number: yeah
:A leather jacket with studs on it?: Do I Look Like Michael Jackson
:A heroin needle: Only on the weekends...
:A pool or hot tub: nope
:A Car: no my parents sold mine!

Describe Your...
:Personality: pretty laid back
:Driving: I'm a good driver!
:Car or one you want: 02-03 Chevy Trailblazer
:Room: Messy as all Hell
:School: we bleed green and white
:Relationship with your parent(s): my parents are pretty cool, i dont really talk to my dad much...my step-dad is cool though

Do You...
:Believe in yourself?: Not all the time
:Believe in love at first sight?: Not really
:Consider yourself a good listener: class? no. important stuff? yes
:Consider yourself a good friend: for the most part
:Get along with your parents: for the majority
:Save your e-mail or conversations?: I have some saved with important people or ones that i think are funny
:Pray: Not as often as I should
:Believe in reincarnation: ,.......
:Like to make fun of people: sometimes....i know thats mean
:Like to talk on the phone: sometimes when people have something important to say
:Like to drive: YES
:Get motion sickness: Not Even Close!!!!
:Eat chicken fingers with a fork: no
:Dream in color: Yep!!! Color is Cool!!!
:Type with your fingers on home row: for the most part
:Sleep with a stuffed animal: well one or two..

What Was/Is (or Are)...
:Right next to you: a desk
:your room: all kinds of shit
:On your mouse pad: the mouse
:Your dream car: my dream car is an old school hummer painted orange...
:Your dream date: hmm..i dont know
:Your dream honeymoon spot: Fiji!!!!!
:Your dream husband/wife: The one God blesses me with
:Your bedtime: Usually pretty late
:Under your bed: boxes and stuff
:The single most important question: "Can I trust you?"
:Your bad time of the day: The minute i wake up, cause i know i wanna go right back to sleep
:Your worst fear(s): Flying and being alone or unsuccesful
:The time?: 11:27 pm
:The date?: 2.23.04
:The best trick you ever played on someone?: i dont know
:The weirdest food or drink that you like?: i dont know..i like to eat ranch dressing on everything
:The hardest thing about growing up?: realizing that things aren't always easy, and that there might not always be someone there to support you
:Your funniest experience: too many
:Your scariest moment?: Seeing my dad in the ER barely able to breath, and using all his strength to hold my hand...that shit is scary
:The stupidest thing you've said?: "Do you know what company your with?" to the recruiter from Cedar Point
:The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex?: promised things i shouldn't have
:Craziest thing that's ever happened while with your friend(s)?: i don know
:The worst feeling in the world?: feeling helpless
:The best feeling in the world?: Knowing I have money in my pocket, Knowing someone loves you(V) and knowing that you have people who really care about your welfare!!!

Favorite...
:Number: 17
:Color: orange
:Day: Tuesdays and Saturdays
:Month: May or July
:Song: theres too many
:Movie: Billy Madison, or any Vin Diesel movie
:Food: Cheese
:Band: At the current moment it would be the Spartan Dischords
:Season: Summer
:Sport: watching...football, playing, volleyball
:Class: so far it would probably be Com 100
:Teacher: Ms. P, RP, Brownlie, Ms. and Mr. Bell, from high school and then college ive only had 2 that i liked, my ATL prof last semester Professor Kriete, and Professor Donahue
:Drink: I dunno
:Veggie: corn or greenbeans
:TV Show: Right now im big on American idol, and Everwood
:Radio Station: dont listen to the radio much
:Store: The one i get the best deals at!!!
:Animal: Dogs!!!!
:Flower: Roses
:State: Anyone that is warm

Love + Relationships...
:Do you have a bf/gf?: nah...
:Do you have a crush?: kinda
:How long have you liked him/her?: well one is probably id say close to a year and the other is just recently
:Why do you like this person?: super cool and nice...makes me laugh
:If you're single...why are you single?: because boys are stupid and we should throw rocks at them
:If you're not single... give details...:
:How long was your longest relationship?: 2 years
:How long was your shortest relationship?: a few weeks prolly
:Who was your first love?: Josh Hafner
:What do you miss about them?: he was so nice, and comfortable...like a big teddy bear, i always had someone to cuddle with!!!

The Past...
:Last thing you heard: Britney Spears, I love Rock and Roll...dont laugh
:Last thing you saw: Some guy winning a million dollars on tv!
:Last thing you said: cool
:Who is the last person you saw?: Stephanie
:Who is the last person you kissed?: Wes
:Who is the last person you hugged?: Lou yesterday for his birthday
:Who is the last person you fought with?: who freakin knows...prolly Hannah last year
:Who is the last person you were on the phone with?: beth
:What is the last TV show you saw?: Everwood

The Present...
:What are you wearing?: pjs, tshirt,
:What are you doing?: this damn survey
:Who are you talking to?: nobody...
:What song are you listening to?: Tank: Maybe I Deserve
:Where are you?: Bedroom
:Who are you with?: Me, Myself and I
:How are you feeling?: Sleepy
:Are you in a chatroom?: nope

The Future...
:What day is it tomorrow?: Tuesday
:What are you going to do after this?: Who knows
:Who are you going to talk to?: i dont know
:Where are you going to go?: no where
:How old will you be when you graduate?: too damn old
:What do you want to be?: A pediatric cardiologist
:What is one of your dreams?: to be very successful in a very lucrative job and being able to give my family the things they want
:Where will you be in 25 years?: 45, i'll have a family maybe, maybe 2.5 kids, a fine wife, and a nice house somewhere warm

Have You Ever...
:Drank?: once in a while
:Smoked?: Yea, sometimes
:Stole?: prolly
:Done anything illegal?: underage drinking is illegal
:Wanted to die?: maybe
:Hit someone?: Yeah, in self defense

Etc...
:Do you write in cursive or print?: CursPrint!!!!
:What piercings do you have?: Both my ears Pierced!!!
:Do you drive?: no car
:Do you have glasses or braces?: Glasses only when m in class...and i got rid of the braces back in november

Fashion...
:Do you wear a watch?: if i remember to put it on
:How many coats and jackets do you own? 4 or 5
:Favorite pants/skirt color?: Black
:Most expensive item of clothing?: probably a $60 pair of jeans...i dont buy expensive stuff..i tend to lose things
:Most treasured?: my pajama pant and sweatshirt collection
:Describe your style in one word: laid-back (its hyphenated so it counts as one!!!)
:How long does it take you get ready in the mornings: 20-30 minutes

I am so tired. This week has been absolutely CRAZY!!! Monday wasn't too bad I suppose, and we all know that I took the day off Tuesday for my birthday, and thank God I did that!!! Lets see, I spent all day Wednesday at work, than after work I spent an hour listening to people giving speeches. YAY, now thats my idea of a good time. So by the time I got home at like 7, I was dead freaking tired!!! So then...as if Wednesday wasn't bad enough, Thursday came and I didn't think it was ever going to end!!! And you can all read about that in yesterday's post...it was a long day! Today I had to get up and go over to the Marriott to help with the Communication fair. Which wouldn't have been so bad, but 1) I had to walk in the rain w/out an umbrella from Berkey to the Marriott which is a walk...2) i have blisters on my feet from Last night the size of freaking golf balls! My poor little toe on my right foot is PURPLE. It hurts! So I sat there for like 3 or 4 hours and came home. I had to walk back to Berkey in the rain, and it was raining even harder, and I got half way there and remembered that my umbrella was in my back pack. NOt that it mattered because by that time i was soaked! but anyway, got back to the room and crashed for about an hour..i curled up next to the heater in the living room and took a nap....steph ordered me jimmy johns, and then we ate...i got my stuff together, beth got there and I came home. SO now I'm home for the weekend, I'm getting my hair done tomorrow! Im anxious to see how that turns out! hopefully good!!! Ya know, I've liked someone now for a while, and I haven't really told anyone about it...well except beth, and thats because I tell her everything, but anyway, i've just realized that i actually do like him. I'm not sure exactly how he feels about me, but i like him. It's one of those things where all you do is have to see a picture of the person and it brings a smile to your face! Hes like that! I was just looking through some pictures that he was in, and I realized that i miss him. It hasn't really been that long since ive seen him, but i guess i dont know its weird!!! our heart sure does funny things to our minds!!! but anyway i think im gonna head out for the night! until next time....over and out!

"Love is not about finding the perfect person, but rather seeing an imperfect person perfectly." How good is that quote???? But on another note, Oh what a long day!! Seriously I was gone today from like 8:45 this morning till about 10 tonight. I had class from 9-2:20 with only 20 minute breaks to get to class, but that isn't much on our campus! Then right after my last class, I had to get over to the Kellogg Center for the Summer Employment Fair. I had so much to do with this fair, the planning, organizing, setting up, everything. I feel so accomplished...it's an amazing feeling. Everything went off without a hitch. It was awesome! I am so happy with the outcome! Anyway, there were soo many cute recruiters there tonight. There were at least 8-10. Which is a major plus to the job, finding cute, already established men, and flirting with them like crazy!!!! And really nobody thinks anything of it because well honestly, it jsut seems like im being nice, and that just means I'm doing good at my job!!! Much to my surprise....my old Math TA chris was there, and he was recruiting. That is really awesome. (Oh and he does fit in with the cute group!) Yeah we talked for a few minutes...he cracks me up...very funny guy! So that always makes the long night worth while. Plus there was this lady there from CBS, and let me tell you, she was the sweetest person EVER. She was soo nice, I helped her with all of her stuff, and we talked on the way out to her car....which surprisingly i didn't mind helping her..usually i don't like to do it....but not with her. And I dont want it to sound like I'm a lesbian or anything, but she was soo awesome. She talked tome about school and how she has so much respect for me because I am still in college because when she was a sophomore she dropped out. She told me that she did end up finishing and she graduated from NYU, but still just the fact that she was cool enough to talk to me like that was GREAT!!! So tonight was a success!!! Sometimes I wonder if the person i'm supposed to be with is right in front of me, and I don't even know it! I wonder that all the time actually, but oh well. What ya gonna do??? But anywho, I think thats all I'm going to talk about for now. I need to get to bed because I have to get up early and be at the Marriott for the Communications Fair. I am working that too! So I need some rest! Until Next time....Over and Out!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!! Happy birthday to me is right! I had the greatest birthday ever! I am not even kidding. I dont really know what made it so awesome, but it was really good! First of all i jsut want to say thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday! I really really appreciate it! i am glad that I have such great friends who care about me and care that I have a good day!!! So once again, thanks to all of you who wished me a happy birthday! YOU ROCK! I got some pretty cool presents. Ashley bought me some fabric and a pattern so that I can make my own PJ's, how cool is that!?!?! I was so excited because if you know me, than you know that i love fabric and I LOVE PJ's!!! So that was fun! Jess got me a balloon and a new coffee mug full of skittles!! YAY..I finally got a new coffee mug, thats awesome!! Then steph bought me a nalgene bottle because i've wanted one forever and had yet to get out and buy myself one, so that is way awesome! My brother came and took me out to dinner. We went to Champs over by the mall on Lake Lansing Road. It was good, I got a steak. I LOVE STEAK!!! haha. then we went to meijer and i bought some ice cream, and I took him out to see our apartment! He's the first person in my family to see it! I got back here and we ate cake and ice cream. Jess's mom made me a cake, so I was excited about that. Everyone came and ate cake with us. So it was good. the only downfall is that I had to finish the night off by writing the speech that was due tomorrow in Communication. I don't have to give it tomorrow, but it is due. i have to give mine next week, and I am way nervous about it!!! Oh yeah and i forgot to mention this earlier, but well wes remembered that it was my birthday and called to wish me a happy birthday. I have yet to figure out how he remembered, but he did.. i was about ready to lose hope on him....and he proved me wrong. Maybe there is hope yet! Anyway, just thought i would write a little today on my good day!!! Until next time...over and out!

And now that we've reached the end I think of all thats past, and how the time went so fast. And how I've come to depend upon the faith I feel inside your guiding hands. Say you'll go with me wherever, though I know that you can't. Well I ain't much with words, there ain't nothing I can say that you ain't heard, but I promise you each and every day. I'll hear your voice, in every thought that floats through my mind. Ill see your face in every cloud that floats through my sky. And the world gets too much and the hurts got me down on my knees to pray, ill hear your voice and then you wont be so far away. Do you remember a moonless night with only sound for a view. Its funny what an ocean can do. Say you'll go with me wherever. Even though I know its just a dream well I know its unknown but its something I gotta do alone. but I swear to you I'd never do anything without your soul inside. I'll hear your voice, in every thought that floats through my mind. I'll see your face in every cloud that floats through my sky. Someday I'll hold you and we will be sailing and I will never have to say goodbye again. till then, till that day. I'll hear your, I'll hear your voice in every thought that floats through my mind. I'll see your face in every cloud that floats through my sky. And the world gets too much and the hurts got me down on my knees to pray, I'll hear your voice and then you wont be so far away. ~ Spartan Dischords....I'll Hear Your Voice

Happy Valentines Day

So I guess my Valentines Day wasn't bad, not as bad as I thought it was going to be! I mean come on, I got to spend it with my very best friends, my brother, and 16 amazing guys! Granted I don't really know all of them....but it was fun! Beth, Ashley and I went shopping after Beth got here, and spent the entire day at the mall. That only brings trouble if you know Beth or I. So after a day at the mall, two new pair of pants, two new shirts, a new necklace, and cute nails.....we finally made it back here. We proceeded to get ready for the concert. The rest of our group got here, and they left for the concert while Beth and I waited back here for my brother to get here. He showed up with flower in hand! How sweet is he? I have to admit, I have one of the best brothers ever!!! I mean, he brought me flowers, a card, and spent the night at an all guys acapella group concert.....ON VALENTINES DAY!!! Once again, I have to give a whole lot of praise and respect to the Dischords. Yet another AMAZING concert! I really enjoyed myself. I mean come on, who would enjoy 13 really good looking guys dropping their pants and dancing and singing on stage! It was great!! Not to mention they had a kick ass after party! I had an awesome time at that....it was a lot of fun, a bunch of memories that I definitely made!!! If you ever get a chance to check them out, I'm so serious....people do it!!!!!! They are awesome! I hope everyones Valentines Day was as good as mine!!! My birthday is on Tuesday...in case you forgot! ;) Oh and my friend Andrew's Birthday is tomorrow! Wish him a birthday if you know him!!! But I think I'm going to go do someting productive! Until next time....Over and Out!!!!

Oh wow, this week has been a rollercoaster! That my friend is an understatement!!! Yesterday alone was an emotional roller-coaster. I went from crying all morning to be so hyper and happy by the time I got home from Communications that I made up a Jimmy Johns Song! Then today was a pretty good day too! So things are going a lot better than they started out on Tuesday night!!! Thank God for that!! This weekend should be pretty fun! Beth, my brother, and a bunch of other people are coming down and we're going to the Spartan Dischords concert. I do believe there are 10 of us all together. So that is exciting. That will be a good night, because The Dischords always put on a good concert! Valentines Day is right around the corner...and let me tell you that is depressing...knowing that you're going to have to spend it with your brother! Oh well...at least I'm not alone!!! That is definitely worse than spending it with my brother! My birthday is also right around the corner! I'm anxious to see how many people remember and say something..or better yet, send me a card!!! Haha...we'll see!! I just cleaned our room...well kinda.. I cleaned most of it. All except the giant heap of clothes that are piled in front of my closet. I hate not being able to do my laundry here. Well technically I can do it here, but 1) it costs an arm and a leg, and 2) the water is nasty and makes my clothes all dingy. I'm not a huge fan of dingy clothes. I might just have to break down though and do a few loads before next weekend. I think I'm going home next weekend. I wasn't planning on it, but my mom thinks it would be a good idea. We'll see what really happens! My dad is back in the hospital. I swear that man alone could keep that hospital funded all on his own. He is there more than any person I know. Especially in the past month or so. I guess this time they admitted him with pneumonia, and a really bad infection. After one day of being there, his pneumonia was gone, and they were just worried about the infection. Sounds kind of fishy if you ask me!!! But anywho, now they are beginning to think that he is allergic to cats. Which I guess wouldn't surprise me any. We do have two cats, so if he is allergic, than its off with the cats. One of them is my brothers cat though, so maybe he can take it. And the other one is old and mangy so my mom will probably just have it put to sleep or something who knows! But I think I'm gonna head off to bed, tomorrow is finally the end of the week, and its going to be a long day. So until next time...over and out!

"I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair, I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind, I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme. I hate it when your always right, I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry, I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call, but mostly I hate the way I don't hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all." That about sums up how I feel right now. I hate you but I can't bring myself to hate you at the same time. I care about you so much that no matter how you treat me, or no matter what you say to me I still want to be with you. I don't know how to get rid of those feelings, I don't know how to put you out of my mind. Believe me if I did know, I would have a long time ago. time and time again I have done nothing but be there for you, spend time with you, drop my friends to have fun with you. But time and time again, my feelings go unreciprocated. I wish more than anything in this world that you cared for me like I cared for you. But as time goes on, I am beginning to realize that we just aren't right for each other. It doesn't matter how much I feel when I'm around you or how incredibly happy you make me. Because in the end it all ends up like it is right now, you not caring and me sitting here with tears streaming down my face wondering to myself what i did wrong, and why you dont care about me. And as much as i hurt right now, i can't bring myself to not care about you less. All the feelings I have when I see you, or when I wake up next to you are still coursing through my body, and they will until the day I die. Granted they may fade, and not be quite so persistent, but they will always be there. Because once you love someone, they are with you forever. There are times when I need you to be there, times when I don't want to talk to anyone but you, but it's those times that i understand that what i want can never be. I'm sorry if you're afraid of something, I don't really know if you are, but something inside tells me that you are. I'm sorry if you aren't comfortable enough around me. I'm sorry that I can't be everything to you that you are to me. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, but this is just the way life is. You dont choose who your heart falls for, and believe me, if I had any control over my heart, I wouldn't have let things get this way. If I had any idea last may that things were going to end like this, I would have never spent every single moment of my summer with you, and if not with you, thinking about you. Sometimes I think you have no clue as to how much I care about you. If i had a penny for everytime your face or your voice runs through my head in one day, i would definitely be a rich person. Someday you will let someone in, and when that day comes, you'll understand how I feel. Whoever she is, she will be one lucky person, because I know you know how to care, and I know that you are great! I only wish you saw me the same way! Sometimes its the things you dont' say to me that hurt the most. I sit and wonder where you are, what you're doing, and if you're safe. I'm sure you're probably ok. I wish you would talk to me the way you used to and things weren't so strained. I dont know.......

If you cut, I will bleed, bring me down to my knees. You make me feel what I am is never good enough. Can you help me understand, thought I made you a better man. I guess somehow along the way, things just change. It seems just like a distant memory that you used to be good for me. But, baby, not it's clear. I give you take, somehow its going to break. I pray for the strength, I hate to say I know we can't go on this way. I give you take, I know we're gonna break. And it hurts my soul, I hate to say we can't go on this way. With your words you pull me in, I always lose I just can't win. And though I see my heart is blind, it gives in every time. You've got me on constant repeat, I need a cure or a remedy 'cause if I stay there won't be, nothing left for me. Now there's nothing left for us to save 'cause only bitterness remains. What we have is like a house of cards and it's falling apart. And it's impossible to get it back with the bridges that you've burned. I guess it's time to walk away 'cause now it's so clear...... ~Maria....I give You take

I cant take this anymore. I cant take the the pain, the tears. Why are you doing this to me?? why!?!? Why can't I just let go!!!? I'd give anything to forget. Maybe its just the hugs or the kisses....who knows what it is. I dont want to keep you. You suck! You dont even know why your getting to me so much. I'll never heal. Maybe I will, I'm sure I will but it will take a while. I jut cant stop thinking of you. You promised a long time ago to never hurt me. Yeah right!!! So why am I thinking about you? I have no idea. I'm trying to let go, but I just cant. I just cant let go, and I hate you for doing this to me. I can almost imagine that you know who that is about. So I finally talked to wes. and I guess hes decided that all we are ever going to be is friends. Because I asked him if we were ever going to be more than that and he came back with, " I don't know the future!" I have never seen anyone who was more afraid of anything in my entire life! Well maybe except for Cathi and the whole clown thing....and Jen and the llamas, if you don't know ....don't ask! But no really, I have honestly never seen anyone be so afraid of being with someone. Like my friend sarah said to me, "he obviously cares about you, or he wouldn't call you, or want you to hang out with him, or take you places." And he kept telling me, I care about yout, i do. So I guess we aren't going to talk for a while. That was my doings, I told him I didn't know if we could still be cool. Which at this point I honestly don't know about. So we'll see how thigs go. it's going to be easier for me if I dont talk to him, because then I wont spend so much time thinking about him. But now that I think about it aside from all the emotions, I think it isn't really going to do me any good to not talk to him. He does mean a lot to me, and if anything I want him as my friend if he can't be more than that to me. So we'll see how everything goes. I mean its not like I didn't see this coming. thats the reason it took me so long to bring it up with him!!! But i need to go get some stuff done. Until Next time...over and out!

completely and utterly bored....and i can't sleep because i slept until 4 this afternoon!!!!



[ series 1 ]
Name: Michelle
Birthday: February 17
Birthplace: Kettering, OH
Current Location: hm...i think this is my bedroom
Eye Color: blue/grey
Hair Color: brown
Righty or Lefty: right
Zodiac Sign: aquarius
Font: whatever is cute!
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
[ series 2 - your favorite ]
Music: it definitely depends on the mood
Cartoon: the lion king
Color: orange
Car: an old school Hummer....and a jaguar
Slushy Flavor: good question...
Magazine: COSMO
TV Show: American Idol..but I'm definitely a fan of the OC
Song at the Moment: Jason Mraz...After an Afternoon
Language: english
Spice Girl: i never really like the spice girls
Food & Beverage: Potato Soup, Pepsi
Subject in School: Anatomy, and no not in the sick way!
Weekend Activity: hanging out..doing nothing
Frozen Yogurt: plain old vanilla
Roller Coaster: HMM...they're all good!!!
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[ series 3 - what is ]
Your most overused phrase: like...
First thing you thought when you woke up: how long have i been sleeping?
Last image/thought you go to sleep with: thinkin about a certain person
First feature you notice of opposite sex: smile/teeth
Best name for a Butler: Jeffrey
Wussiest Sport: golf
Your best feature: my listening skills..
Your greatest fear: being alone, or unsuccessful
Your greatest accomplishment: graduating and getting accepted into MSU
Your most missed memory: sometimes i miss all the fun that came with high school
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[ series 4 - you prefer ]
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
Single or Group Dates: single
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Chicken nuggets or Chicken fingers: fingers
Dogs or Cats: dogs
Rugrats or Doug: neither..not a big cartoon fan..unless its a disney movie
Single or Taken: i'd much rather be taken
Monica or Brandy: would rather not listen to either
Tupac or Jay-Z: jay z
Shania Twain or LeAnn Rhymes: LeAnn Rimes
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: i hate tea
One pillow or Two: as many as possible..I LOVE PILLOWS
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla
Hot chocolate or Hot cocoa: Chocolate?
Cappucino or Coffee: Neither...hot chocolate!!!
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[ series 5 - do you ]
Shower everyday: yes
Have a crush: yes
Think you've been in love: yes twice..once with someone who loved me back..and once with someone who didnt
Want to go to college: not really, but i am anyways
Like high school: now that i'm in college, i loved high school
Want to get married: yes
Type correctly: most of the time
Believe in yourself: every once in awhile
Have any tattoos? Where: yes! one on my foot and one on myback
Have any piercings? Where: yup 2 in each ear
Get motion sickness: no
Think you're a health freak: no
Get along with your parents: for the most part
Like thunderstorms: HECK NO
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[ series 6 - the future ]
Age your plan to be married: hopefully by the time i'm 30
Number and names of children: 2-3 kids girls: alexia richelle, gabbriella christine, hayleigh elizabeth, boys: jensen thomas, ethan graham
Where will you be at age 20: college...right where im sitting now..cuz ill be 20 in 13 days!!!!
Dream wedding: somewhere outside...
How do you want to die: something quick, but an event that everyone would remember
Dream job: pediatric cardiologist
Country you'd like to visit: FIJI
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[ series 7 - opposite sex ]
Best eye color: blue
Best hair color: dark
Short or long hair: short
Best height: taller than me...but shorter is ok too
Best weight: normal
Best clothes: anything as long as they don't look trashy
Best first date location: anywhere, as long as it's just us
Best first kiss location: anywhere as long as its good!!!
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[ series 8 - other ]
Last time you slept with a stuffed animal: last night
Rings before you answer the phone: as soon as i can see who it is on the caller id
What's on your mousepad: its green
How many houses you've lived in: 5
How many schools you've gone to: 5, counting MSU
Bedroom carpet color: white
Shave your head for $5,000?: hell yes
Stranded on a desert island. Take three things. No people: music, food, and a boat for when i decide i want to rejoin civilization
Best time of your life so far: i hope the best time of my life is yet to come.

Oh the situations I put myself in. I finally am getting over Wes....and that is going good, but other things keep coming up. So it's getting a little frustrating. Anyway, the Dischords came to our hall tonight to sing on the girls floors. I must say they always sound so good. If you are going to be around here on Valentines day....get tickets for their concert. It is well worth it! American Idol has started again. It's great so far! I love that show. It's kind of sad. Anywho, I have to give a speech tomorrow in my communication's class. I'm very very afraid of that. I dont know why I am so afraid of talking in front of people. But I just am. Who really knows!!! I'll just be glad when this semester is over and I dont have to worry about that anymore!!! Anyway, my birthday is only 13 days away! And for those of you who can't figure that out. It's on the 17th...I'll be expecting something wonderful!!! In case you have forgotten where to send it....371 W. Akers East Lansing, MI 48825. Just so you know!! I guess we're going on a cruise sometime. Probably is going to end up being sometime in like 2005. After I turn 21. that way it would be much more fun for me. We'll see how that goes! Anyway, its off to bed..I have to be to work by 10:30. Lets see if I can make it that early! Until next time...over and out!

What a peaceful relaxing weekend. It was so nice.. I DID NOTHING. So nice..tonight my brother came and got me and we went to Target and then to Pancheros for some dinner. It was good! Good good stuff. But thats all that was really exciting! So there are only 15 days left until my birthday. BUY ME SOMETHING BIG!!! Until next time...Over and out!