I cant take this anymore. I cant take the the pain, the tears. Why are you doing this to me?? why!?!? Why can't I just let go!!!? I'd give anything to forget. Maybe its just the hugs or the kisses....who knows what it is. I dont want to keep you. You suck! You dont even know why your getting to me so much. I'll never heal. Maybe I will, I'm sure I will but it will take a while. I jut cant stop thinking of you. You promised a long time ago to never hurt me. Yeah right!!! So why am I thinking about you? I have no idea. I'm trying to let go, but I just cant. I just cant let go, and I hate you for doing this to me. I can almost imagine that you know who that is about. So I finally talked to wes. and I guess hes decided that all we are ever going to be is friends. Because I asked him if we were ever going to be more than that and he came back with, " I don't know the future!" I have never seen anyone who was more afraid of anything in my entire life! Well maybe except for Cathi and the whole clown thing....and Jen and the llamas, if you don't know ....don't ask! But no really, I have honestly never seen anyone be so afraid of being with someone. Like my friend sarah said to me, "he obviously cares about you, or he wouldn't call you, or want you to hang out with him, or take you places." And he kept telling me, I care about yout, i do. So I guess we aren't going to talk for a while. That was my doings, I told him I didn't know if we could still be cool. Which at this point I honestly don't know about. So we'll see how thigs go. it's going to be easier for me if I dont talk to him, because then I wont spend so much time thinking about him. But now that I think about it aside from all the emotions, I think it isn't really going to do me any good to not talk to him. He does mean a lot to me, and if anything I want him as my friend if he can't be more than that to me. So we'll see how everything goes. I mean its not like I didn't see this coming. thats the reason it took me so long to bring it up with him!!! But i need to go get some stuff done. Until Next time...over and out!