Knew the signs wasn't right I was stupid for a while swept away by you and now I feel like a fool. So confused, my heart's bruised was I ever loved by you? Out of reach, so far I never had your heart out of reach, couldn't see we were never meant to be. Catch myself from despair I could drown If I stay here keeping busy everyday I know I will be OK. But I was so confused, my heart's bruised was I ever loved by you? Out of reach, so far I never had your heart out of reach, couldn't see we were never meant to be. So much hurt, so much pain takes a while to regain what is lost inside and I hope that in time, you'll be out of my mind and I'll be over you. But now I'm so confused, my heart's bruised was I ever loved by you?Out of reach, So far I never had your heart. Out of reach, couldn't see we were never Meant to be. Out of reach, So far you never gave your heart in my reach, I can see There's a life out there for me. ~Out of Reach Gabrielle

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY MATT!!!!! Relaxation is so nice once in a while....But it's not like you need me to tell you that! Since I quit working in the stupid cafeteria, everything has been so much smoother, less stressful! Not only that, but I've decided that you can't control everything that happens to you. Most of the time, I try too hard to do that. Ive decided that my life we much easier if I just took things as they came to me! Like the saying goes, You just have to roll with the punches!!! So that is definitely my new motto on life!!! Anyway, my prayers, and everyone elses for that matter, paid off big time! My brother got his transfer, so that means he is no employed in Battle Creek instead of Greenville, South Carolina. That is a little dissapointing, for selfish reasons but still, now I dont' have anywhere to vacation too! Oh well, I'll just have to find a new spot! But it's good to have him close to home. It would be weird living down there by yourself without any family close by! So I'm happy that he will be here! Another thing is that my dad is doing much better! He is feeling a little better minus all the bruises he has, but none the less, hes feeling better. I know this because my mom was telling me that he was already complaining about stuff, and was talking about how he is going to come home and put the snow blower on the tractor! Yeah right....this is coming from a man who can barely get out of bed without getting winded! Anyway, thats just who he is...stubborn...hates not being able to do anything for himself! But it makes me relieved knowing that he's doing better! My mom said that he will probably be in there for 4 or 5 more days, so pretty much until the end of this week. This is by far the longest he has been in the hospital in a long long time. For those of you who don't understand...its very very stressful!! But luckily, things are beginning to look up..my grey skies are turning to blue! Well with my family that is. Things are getting more and more black in the whole boy department. So Wes FINALLY called me back the other day, and then he asks me, "what do you want to talk to me about?" I've decided that he is as dumb as everyone thinks he is...or he hasn't read my good ole' letter yet. With him, its hard telling. Since I was a bit annoyed that he called and asked me that, and that he wanted to talk about thing while he was on his way to Detroit with his friends...I told him there wasn't anything I wanted to talk to him about. So he told me to call him when I was ready to talk. So I called him last night to talk about all this stuff. Thinking that maybe just maybe, he was on the same path as me.....well to my surprise, actually no not really, i wasn't surprised at all, he tells me he is playing video games and that he would call me back. Let's just say that I fell asleep with the phone in my hand. No call. IVE GIVEN UP! he is the one thing that holds me back from being completely happy. Sure he makes me happy most of the time, but it's all the times like these that cancel out all the good times we've had! So I'm done with him. This time I mean it! He frustrates the hell out of me, and I can't deal with it! So I'm moving on! I'm sure there is someone around here that is even better than Wes! I just need to find him! Anywho, so my friend Brandi, shes from when I was little and still lived in Ohio, and I have been talking lately. And we've decided that I need to go down there and visit her. So she told me that she would meet me half way, and that we could go home, and surprise everyone! That will be so much fun. So I'm hoping that my brother will be able to take half way, or that someone will be willing to take me half way. I mean she goes to school like 2 hours from here in Toledo. So it would be like to Ann Arbor. It's not that far! So that is going to be my next big plan!!! I'll keep you updated on how it goes! But for now I think thats all! Until Next Time......Over and out! Knew the signs Wasn't right I was stupid for a while Swept away by you And now I feel like a fool So confused, My heart's bruised Was I ever loved by you? Gabrielle ~ Out of Reach

Tomorrow By Lillix

tomorrow's just another day, another way to spend my day all by myself starin at the tv screen, flipping through my magazine. Everything is unclear, I need you here. And i wake up, put on my makeup, pick up the phone nobody's home. i need to break out, get me some takeout, Stand inside a crowd, I wanna scream aloud. i'll be ok....i'll be ok
walking down this winding road Rainy days are all I know. i have hit the ground staring up into the sky countin all the reasons why my mind is spinning around i need to breath. get off from the floor i just can't take anymore leavin' it all behind 'cause yesterday's gone.

I do believe that everything has calmed down a wee bit in my life. As far as I know, my dad is doing much better, Thank you to all of you who sent out a prayer for him! I am for in debt to you! It means everything to me to know that I have people that care about me and my family! This week has definitely flown by!! That is for sure! I can't believe that it is already Thursday and that in like one more day I'll be going home for the weekend! AGAIN. This weekend is my friend Matt's 21 birthday. I can't miss that! It's one of those milestones that you want everyone to be a part of! So it should be fun, lets just hope now that I can find a ride home!!! It's sad to think that Valentines day is just around the corner...along with my birthday..(hint hint). The even sadder part is that I believe that I have scared away the one person that was the closest thing to me having a Valentine this year! Wes got my letter, but didn't read it, so I stressed that he needed to read it and then get back to me on it! Well that was like Monday, and I have yet to hear back from him. I guess I don't really care, I mean I do....but if he isn't going to put forth any emotion or let me know how he is feeling, that I am sick of wasting my time. Like someone great told me, One day I'll find someone when I am least expecting or wanting him. So I'm going to against all my previous notions, and believe that. One day a man that will love me just as much as I love him, will be sent into my life. So until then, I'll just give up on Wes...and leave everything open. School doesn't seem to be going too bad, except for the whole Communications class. I hate public speaking, and the fact that I have to stand up and give a speech in a week terrifies the HELL out of me! Not to mention that I have an even bigger speech due in like 2 or 3 weeks. EEEEKK...oh well, I WILL OVERCOME! Today I had to make phone calls at work, there is a first. This is coming from the person who doesn't even call to order her own food! THANK GOD for Stephanie!!! Well, I should probably make this short, because knowing MSU...we will have class tomorrow, and that means for me, getting up early! So I am going to head off to bed...Until next time....Over and out!!!! Tomorrow's just another day, another way to spend my day all by myself starin at the tv screen, flipping through my magazine. Everything is unclear i need you here! ~Tomorrow.....Lillix

LONG WEEK

Man oh wow!!! This week has been the longest ever! It seems like everything that could go wrong, DID! With an exception of the career fair! That went well!!! So as you already know, my dad went into the hospital last Sunday, he had a heart cath done on Tuesday, and then had a pace-maker/defribulator put in on Friday. As if that isn't enough, they sent him home on Saturday! Yeah, I didn't think it was such a good idea, but needless to say, I'm not a doctor either. OK granted, it is normal procedure to send someone home the day after they have a pace-maker put in, but Dad's surgery was far from normal! IT TOOK 6.5 hours total! They should have seen that black flag, but no, they were in a hurry to get him home, even though he wasn't ready. So he came home and didnt do anything. Laid in bed all day. Well I went to church on sunday, and afterwards, Beth and I were on our way to meet her parents at Applebee's when I turned my phone on to make sure I didn't have any messages (I was waiting for someone to call me...YEAH...THEY STILL HAVE YET TO CALL...dumb boys), well I did have one, only it was from my mom! She left a frantic message on my voicemail saying that she had to rush Dad back into the hospital because he was having trouble breathing. So I ate dinner, and then went to the hospital. Well when I got there the lady at the desk told me that I could go on back to his room even though there were already two people back there. That caused some suspicion, but nothing to much, so I walk around the corner, and here comes my sister, SOBBING. She says to me..."Dad isn't doing well, they told us that if we had family we needed to call them and have them there." So I'm trying to console her, and keep my composure. He ended up being ok, but he is intensive care for now. He has a really bad infection and they are just trying to keep in under control. So I spent most of the weekend in the hospital. That was very draining. My brother left today for the service. That's a pretty scary thing. It kind of makes me a little bit sad, but I'm sure he'll be fine! I got back to school today, not that I was at all happy about that. I wanted to wait and come back tomorrow but of course these damn winter storms had to come up now. So my mom made me come back today. I slept for most of the day, it's amazing how exhausting being at the hospital is. I got my stupid retainers from the ortho today!! Almost finished with treatment. I don't have to go back now for 3 months. That is very very exciting! I quit the stupid cafeteria today! That was a huge stress-relief right there! I'm not one bit upset about it either! Yeah, so Wes got my letter. Didn't read it though! What the hell...I am honestly wondering why I waste my time trying to be with him. Maybe Andrew is right!! Maybe he isn't worth my time! Who knows....only time will tell!!! I just had the best conversation ever!!! It made my whole week seem so much better! I have decided that I am going to "trip" and drop my phone right when there is a CATA bus approaching and hope to GOD that it gets run over!! That way I can get a new phone! LOL....but honestly, I have to figure out something. I need a new phone, and my insurance will cover it if it gets run over. So I'm going to pray that it works!!! My prayers are filled these days. Between my dad, my grandpa, my brothers, my mom, my sister, myself. I could really use anyone else's prayers. Please just keep me and my family in your prayers...It would be much appreciated! Until next time...Over and out!

Back Home

What a long week it has been!!! I think even that is an understatement. It all started with having to come home on Tuesday! That made for a long Wednesday, and an even longer Thursday. Last night was my very first career fair with Career Services and Placement. I think everything went really well!!! It was awesome. I am amazed at how many people actually come out to those things. Not to mention all the companies were great. I didn't really get a chance to interact with very many of them, but the ones I did talk to were really really awesome!!!! I loved the job before, but now that I got to see it all come together.. I love it even more! Not to mention it is an awesome resume booster, and the people I work with are awesome!!!! SO that made my week a little bit better. Today I had to come home, and i wanted to sleep in. Well needless to say, I forgot to shut the alarm off last night, so this morning, the alarm went off at 8 am! I was so mad. Then I had a hard time falling back asleep. Jessica came in to get me up at like 11. Well Beth got there at about 12, and my mom called to tell me that my dad was still in surgery, and had been in there since 8!!! Mind you, the surgery they were doing was only supposed to take an hour or so. Well I guess it ended up taking about 5 hours, so he was in recovery when I got there. We had to wait for im to get out of recovery before I could see him. He seems to be doing pretty well. When I talked to him last, he said that he didn't have too much pain. He hadn't taken any medication yet, but the last time my mom talked to him tonight, he was getting ready for that pain medicine. Then I guess he thought today was Sunday and that I was already going back to school tomorrow. I don't know, hes supposed to be coming home tomorrow but I think it would be better if they kept him for another day. We'll see how it goes!! So I wrote Wes this letter. I sent it out today, and hopefully he will get in the next couple of days. It was basically just telling him how I felt, and that I need some clarification what was going on with us. Hopefully, Ill know soon. I think thats about all for now. Until next time...Over and out!!!

Everything

Sometimes I give in to sadness, sometimes I don't. Doo doo doo doo. At times I'm part of the madness. Sometimes I won't give in to you. You see in a way I have been drifting down a river to nowhere, and you've given me nothing. But if you're ready to be my everything, If you're ready to see it through this time. And if you're ready for love then this I will bring. But I'm not gonna wait for you forever this time......At times I feel myself smiling, at times I'm not. Doo doo doo doo. What's with the guilt that you styling baby talk don't look good on you. You see in a way I have been looking for a reason to go there, and you're leading me nowhere. And if you're ready to be my everything, if you're ready to see it through this time. And if you're ready for love then, this I will bring. But I'm not gonna wait for you forever this time. Are you waiting for a special occasion, to give me your heart? Cause I need a little confirmation, to make a real start. Don't wait till it's too late. Are you ready to show me? Are you ready to love me? Fefe Dobson.....Everything

Craziness!!

Oh, I'm back at school after a night full of crazyness! First of all, both my dad and my grandpa were in the hospital yesterday. Then I find out that my dad had had a mild heartattack, and as if that wasn't bad enough, it's not the first one he'd had. According to what the doctors found yesterday during his heart-cathederization, there was a lot of scar tissue in his heart that is only caused by heart attacks. Crazy!!! I mean my dad already had a weak heart, so now its even weaker from having numerous heart attacks. Not to mention they found out that he has spinal compression or something along those lines. I tell you this man has more wrong with him than half the people on this campus put together. I guess tomorrow they are going to give him a pacemaker. It sucks being here sometimes because I get stuck here without a car and no way to get home in situations like that. It's really scary never knowing when something might happen, and if it does happen I'm stuck here. Thankfully yesterday Steph let me borrow he car to go home. So that was nice!!! But anywho, when I left the hospital this morning my dad was being himself....which is a good sign. As for my grandpa, he's got a long road of recovery ahead of him. He had some surgery done on his shoulder. I guess the doctor said that he was pretty muscular so they had to cut through a lot of muscle, which would cause more pain for him. Anyway, I swung by there on my way back to school to see how he was doing, and he was pretty doped up on drugs. He said that they had him on morphine and had just given him a vikaden before he left the hospital, so he was feeling pretty good. He kept falling asleep on me, we would be talking and I would look at him and he would be fast asleep sitting straight up! He is a funny guy! Anyway, I just thought i would give a little update on whats going on in my life!! Keep my family in your prayers!!! Until next time...over and out!!! You see in a way, I have been drifting down a river to nowhere, And you've given me nothing. But if you're ready to be my everything, if you're ready to see it through this time. And if you're ready for love then, this I will bring. But I'm not gonna wait for you forever this time. Everything by Fefe Dobson

So I'm sitting here in my room by myself and have been for a few hours now. Well except for a little while Jess was home between her classes. I think Tuesdays are going to be my favorite day of the week. I have like a 4 hours break in between classes, granted after my last class I have to come home and go into the cafeteria. But I mean at least I get a break in there somewhere!!! And it's a break when no one else is home. There aren't very many times around here when you have time to yourself! At least not for me, I'm usually gone all day and by the time I get home, everyone else is home too! But anywho, I was bored so i thought I would write something this afternoon. Then I wont have to do it later. I was reading away messages as I tend to do to pass the time, and I discoverd my roomie has a very good away message up today! "Life changes constantly, sometimes for the good and sometimes not....no matter how incredible or horrid it may be, we have no choice but to accept it. We can cherish all that was but at the same time we must move on. Leave the past in the past, thats why its not the future. Don't try to make what once was, now. It's amazing to me how hard people focus on maintaining how it used to be...instead let it go and focus on what is or could be now. For whether it maybe all we hoped for or not, it has the potential to be even better!!!!" That is very true, sometimes it's nice to think about how things used to be, and I myself am guilty of wanting things to go back the way they used to be. I'm sur we all are. But really why waste your time, it's over...you'll never have that back. Just put it behind you and make tomorrow even better! I also found this in the profile of a friend that I had in elementary school who just recently got in contact with me, (That's a story in itself!!!) "Take Chances, tell the truth, date someone totally wrong for you, say no, spend all your cash, sleep an entire day, fall in love, befriend and enemy, say I love you, sing out loud, laugh at a stupid joke, cry, get revenge, apologize, tell someone just how much they really mean to you, tell an asshole what you feel about them, let someone know what they're missing, laugh till your stomach hurts, take risks, most importantly... LIVE LIFE" How true is that? How many people can honestly say they have done all of those? Not that is th only criteria to having a complete life, but it's a start! Anyway, that is my enlightenment for the day. Who knows what else I'll think of later?!?!?!? Until next time....Over and out!

Nothing Better

I wish I'd never met ya. I wish I'd never seen you because than I'd never know what im missing or how wonderful perfection was. And your smile its so so dreamy for anyone else oh how I'd wish I could be me. Holding hands, interlocked, not the normal way but the one where your thumbs on top. It's unconventional, 3 dimensional. We're not perfect but we've got the potential. I dont mean to unsettle or be too sentimental, but if I try to explain my love my words would be infinitesimal. Theyd go on and on and on. And oooooooh every time I see you, you know I get weak, you know I can't sleep...And ooooh I'm so happy just to see yor face. Long fingers running through my hair, on a beach in rio we quietly stare at the stars above us, and the sand below us. The atlantic whispers like it wants to know us. Like the magnets north and south, your cherry lips attract my weary mouth. Eyes are singing without a sound. Its then I realize that nothing better will be found, nothing better will be found, nothing better will be found. So nowI'm glad that I met ya, every moment is just pure bliss...your so darn willing to be dream fulfilling, you're my greatest wish, you're my greatest wish, you're my greatest, god save the best for latest, your my greatest wish.

Faces For Radio
Nothing Better

I found the most wonderful song on the planet. FOR REAL....I've been searching for this song for forever. Then the other day I got it all figured out. It's wonderful. It's called Nothing Better by a band called Faces For Radio. The Spartan Dischords sing a version of it too. The lead singer of Faces For Radio's brother Clint sings it for the Dischords. They are both REALLY REALLY AWESOME. If you get an opportunity you should definitely check them out. That's the one good thing that came out of today. The bad news is, I am begining to think that my mom is the bearer of bad news. The only time she ever calls me is to tell me that something bad is going to happen, or something bad already did. Like take today for instance, she calls to let me know that my dad is in the hospital, and that he is going to have minor heart surgery tomorrow. Not something you really want to find out about. Then she informs me that my grandpa is having surgery on his shoulder. So neither of which I can be at. Don't forget the fact that my brother is leaving for basic training on the 27th of January. That in itself is a pretty scary thing. So today hasn't been the greatest day for me. I am really excited that I have that song! It made my entire day...seriously as sad as that sounds. you have to hear it, and once you do, you'll understand COMPLETELY!!!! Not to mention I bought a new pair of boots today! They are HOT!!! They are red, with a square toe, and stiletto heels...Well kind of stiletto-ish. To me they are about as close to stiletto as I'll ever be!! But I got them to wear with my business like outfit for the career fair on Thursday. I'm going to be super super cute in my red shirt, black pinstriped pants and my red boots!!! I cant wait. I did end up going shopping the other day. I bought 2 sweaters from Old Navy, a red button down shirt, and a few other things. So that was nice. My birthday is right around the corner. Well not exactly, but its less than a month away. So for me that is right around teh corner! I'll be 20, weird thought I know... If you want to send me anything like a small gift or a card, you know where to find me. If not ask me, and Ill give you my address!!! ;) But anywho, I think I'm gona hit the hay...it's been a really long day, and I have early class tomorrow! Talk to you all later! Until next time...Over and out! I wish I'd never met you, i wish id never seen you because than id never know what im missing or how wonderful perfection was. And your smile its so so dreamy for anyone else oh how id wish i could be me. "Faces For Radio" Nothing Better

This has been by far the longest week of my life. I knew getting used to a new schedule sucked, but who would have thought it would suck this bad!?!?!?! Honestly I worked like 2 hours short of the 29 hour limit. Not to mention the 12 credits I'm taking. I have been gone more this past week than I think I was gone all last semester combined, HONESTLY!!!! But I guess it will all pay off sooner or later. Next Thursday everything will come together with the career fair, so all of this work I have been doing will pay off!!! It will be nice. Not to mention I'll probably be there from like 12-10. So thats a good 10 hours on the pay check! Not to shabby...not to mention the other 3 days I'll work next week!!! I'm excited! It's finally the weekend though, so I get to rest a little bit, do some homework, and maybe even clean this trash dump up a little. Our room always manages to look like a tornado went through, but Ashley and I like it that way! I'm really really in the mood to shop. Well I need to get a shirt for the career fair next week, I have to dress “business casual”so whatever that means. So I'm going to buy either a red or white button down shirt to wear with my black pinstriped pants. Hopefully I'll be able to find one that will look decent with them. Plus I need some new bras and underwear....it's been a wile since I bought new underwear, like a month or so. Really really weird for me, I'm usually always buying underwear, I have a problem with it!!! Just like with buying shoes. LOL...not that anyone really wants to hear about my fetish with underwear and shoes! So someone asked me the other day what was up with Wes and I. Why do people ask me that? Honestly, how often do I talk about how I never know whats going on with that kid. Wish I did know, and that I could tell people something, but the truth of the matter is, I don't know what he wants. I know what I want, and I think I know what he wants, or what he's afraid to want! But I can never seem to get any reassurance out of him. So things just keep going like they are, and sooner or later, I really will get sick of it all, and move on. But it's hard telling when that is actually going to be. Probably not until I find someone here that makes me feel the way he does!!! But I dont want to get into that all. So I put insurance on my phone the other day. I'm not real sure how it works, but I am going to try and take it in and see what they will do about it. Hopefully they will just tell me there really isn't much to do, and give me a new phone. I think I have to pay a $35 deductible. But that isn't bad considering nextel phones are hundreds of dollars. It's kind of a rip-off if you ask me, but who really cares about my opinions. Hopefully if I go shopping tomorrow, I can take my phone in and see what they will tell me. It's worth a shot! But I believe that is enough blabbering for now!! Until next time...Over and out!

Oh man, I am in trouble...it's only the second day of school and I am already burnt out. It's very sad. I mean I've been so busy these past two days and the bad part is that its only going to get worse. Tomorrow I am going to be gone from our room for about 12 hours straight. It's going to be rough. I am sitting here thinking about the long day ive had and drinking a beer! Nothing like having a beer after a long day of work. Haha...Classes are going good so far. My Bio class is a little bit shady. The prof is a flake and she has a really really high pitched squeaky voice. My com prof thinks hes a stand up comedian. He thinks everything he says is so funny. not true. So we'll see how that turns out. Today is my very good friend, Brandon's, Birthday! Happy Birthday PAL! I thinkt hats all for now. I dont know what else to write! Until next time....over and out!

OH, I should have known. It's that time when I have to head back to school, and once again, things with Wes and I are starting to look good, and I have to up and leave it behind. Not such a great thing! I knds it would happen again if we hung out over break, and me being the fool that I am, let it happen anyway! Hopefully this time it will be different and he will actually come and visit me once or something. You never know. Sometimes I wonder if people do things just to try and make me angry or jealous. Things lately have been happening, and I'm beginning to wonder if that isn't the case!!! I don't know...but things seem pretty darn fishy if you ask me! Another good thing I realized in the past few days is that I really miss Sarah. We haven't talked very much this year, and it kind of sucks, actually it really sucks! We always have sooo much fun together, and we need to start hanging out more!!! Definitely! We had a family day out today...it was weird, going from being yelled at hard core to spending an entire day with my family. I mean I got up at my grandparents house and my mom came and got me, then we came home, took my nephew bowling, and then my mom and I went shopping. We honestly spend the whole day together doing family stuff!!! WEIRD! Anywho, classes start monday, I am so excited, I absolutely love my job!!! Wish I could afford to quit the caf but CSP isn't offering me enough hours to do that. But we'll see, this is very very exciting! I can't wait to get back, I miss everyone soo much. Jen Keates called me the other night....3 TIMES!! I miss her...we haven't hung out much this year, but I love the girl as if she were my left arm!!! Anyway, I'm going to church with my grandparents tomorrow, and we are having kind of like a family dinner before my brother leaves for the Air Force. He is going back to South Carolina tomorrow, but he isn't actually leaving for the service until the 27. So it's going to be really weird not having him here!!!! Anyway, I have a new motto for this upcoming semester...."God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference!!" Hopefully it will help me to keep things in perspective!!!! We'll see if it does me any good!! This break was the break I could have possibly had. Busy every single day with people, whether we had anything specific to do or not, I was always gone. The TRUE friends that I have. The true friends that I care about. I have all the friends I need right there! I love you guys! But for now, I'm gonna finish what I was doing. Until next time...Over and out!

Not a lot has happened since the last time i updated this thing. I lead a pretty boring life! Our town is boring and without a car, its hard to do much of anything! If it weren't for Beth I wouldn't have anything to write about at all! Anywho, went out with Wes last night to a Detroit Redwings game. That was fun! Granted the wings lost...and we had to stand in the cold for like 15-20 minutes, but it was still a fun time! Any time spent with Wes is a good time! So it's not like I have to really worry about it. It official, I AM READY TO BE BACK AT SCHOOL. At this point, I think anything else would be better than being here. My family is driving me nuts, and have been for a while. My mom freaked out on me because of who knows why, not like that is anything new. She always freaks out on me, and I've grown pretty accustomed to it. OH well, I'll be so thankful next year when I'm on my own and dont really have to deal with being here for long periods of time! It will be so nice!!! I wont have to worry about who I spend my time with or who come over, or where I go. The only person I'm going to have to answer to is myself, and three other roomates, but like they will say anything! It's going to be heaven on earth!!!! Anywho, I need to get to bed, I've got to be getting up early! Until next time...over and out!

OH lets see...I haven't really been doing much. Just kind of actually enjoying break, or whats left of it. Today while Beth and I were driving she said to me, "you know for a girl not having anything to do over break, i sure have been busy!" That is so true. I think I have been gone more than I have actually been home. Thats ok, at least I didn't sit home and do nothing and be miserable. At the current moment I have to deal with putting two 5 year old girls to bed. The one is being a pain my rear end. She wont stop moving and wont stop talking. She always was the one who was the hardest to deal with. Last night Beth and I just hung out. Well at about 11:30 or so we decided that it was time to go make a Meijer run. So we get to meijer and are walking around when the power goes off. If you want to see scary, be in that store when the power goes off! I kid you not, I couldn't see my hand two inches in front of my face! CREEPY!!!! But then we got home, and Beth couldnt get her garage door opener to work, and all of the doors were locked, and of course Beth didn't have her house key. So we were screwed until she came upon the open garage window! Well needless to say we had to break into her garage. Or I had to break into the garage. Here I am climbing through this little tiny window. People probably thought that people were trying to rob the place! I'm sure it was a funny sight! Well it took us all that to realize that the power had gone out at her house too!!! Funny story. Well we didnt have power until about 3 or 4 in the morning and I know because we were still awake talking for that whole time!!! yeah it was one of those nights!!! Good times!!! Heard this song today that so reminded me of wes. So much so that it was scary. I still don't know whats going on with him. I don't think I'll ever know whats going on with him. I guess we are going to go to a Detroit Redwings game on Wednesday, we'll see how that trip goes. Hopefully well!!!! Anyway, I should probably finish up, and get off of here so that the girls can sleep and so that I can get up in the morning! Until next time...Over and out! Woke up today thinking of you. Another night that I made my way through. So many dreams still left in my mind. But they can never come true. I press rewind and remember when. I close my eyes and I'm with you again. But in the end I can still feel the pain, every time I hear your name. The sun won't shine since you went away. Seems like the rain's falling every day.There's just one heart, where there once was two. But that's the way it's gotta be, 'til I get over you. ~Christina Milian Until I get Over You

Lets see...it's a new year! Hard to believe, last year just seemed to fly by! My new years resolution this year to lose about 25-30 pounds and keep it off! I want to be in shape and look good! I know it sounds kind of vain, but this year ive put on last years freshman 15, so its time that I get downt o business and start exercising more! But anywho, last night I went out with Wes, his friend Matt, and Matt's girlfriend. We went to see the Saginaw Spirit play. They got beat like no other. Then afterwards, Wes and I went to his friend Mike's house. Needles to say that was nothing short of exciting!!! (note the sarcasm) I was by far the youngest person there, which isnt usually uncommon. BUt these people outaged me not only by one or two years, but one guy was like 10 years older than me! So i felt very very out of place! OH well....then I just wanted things with Wes to be like they used to be. They were at times, but I dont know, it was different. I mean granted we havent seen each other in over 4 months, so I understand that they have changed. But is it really too much to ask to have things like they were??? I know he likes me still...and that if I werent at MSU things would be completely different. But thats not how it is, so I guess I need to deal with that! Anyway, I think I got a stomach bug from the kids I've been babysitting for. The one girl was really really sick and had a super high temp both days that I watched them this week. Not to mention my brother had one last week. So I think I'm getting it too. Blah go figure, I couldnt be the only one who was completely illness free. All my roomates got sick while we were still at school, not me, i was healthy. Now it's almost time to go back and I'm going to be the one who comes back sick! GRRR...go figure thats just my luck!!!
But anyway, I get paid tomorrow. That should be nice. Ill get about 150 dollars. Lets hope so anyway, I guess it all depends on how long I babysit tomorrow. I have 19 hours in right now, so thats like $95, plus I'll probably be there for about 10-11 hours tomm. Thats nice! Hehe.. Anyway, I'm gonna head off now. I need to get some rest for tomm! Until next time....over and out! Since the moment I spotted you, Like walking around with little wings on my shoes, My stomach's filled with the butterflies, Ooh, and it's all right, Bouncing round from cloud to cloud, I'd got the feeling like I'm never gonna come down, If I'd said I didn't like it then you'd know I lied, Everytime I try to talk to you, I get tongue-tied, It turns out that everything I say to you, Comes out wrong and never comes out right. So I'll say why don't you and I, Get together and take on the world and be together forever, Heads we will, Tails we'll try again, So I'll say why don't you and I, Hold each other and fly to the moon and straight on to heaven, Cause without you they're never gonna let me in. ~Nickleback
Why Don’t You and I