I was listening to some music tonight and I heard this great song, so i thought I would post the words on here, because right now they seem so perfect. So here they are! I've been wasting time with clueless guys. But now it's over. Let me tell you why. I'm through. I've meet someone new. Just like you. You're it. You're the ultimate. It's automatic. I'm sure of it. No lie. So don't even try. To tell me that you're not the guy. Cuz I've been waiting all my life. For someone just like you. But you're it. You're the ultimate, you. You're the kind of guy who's hands and mind send shivers up and down my spine. You took my heart and put it back together again. You're the kind of guy that blows my mind. But now it's my turn. You've been right in front of me. Everything I need. It's a really good song! Anyway, the lady I'm supposed to be babysitting for FINALLY called me and I guess I am babysitting this week after all! SO that should be nice, she works 10 hour days so I'll make about 50-60 dollars a day! Which will definitely be nice at the end of this week! I need to get Beth's present, and then finish my roomates presents! Hmmm...anyway, I have to get up early tomorrow, so I think i'm gonna be hitting the sack! Until next time.....OVer and out!!!

"for I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans for well-being and not for trouble, to give you a future and hope." ~ Jeremiah 29:11 That passage is what today's sermon in church was about. It was a relly good one. It fit perfectly in my life right at the current moment! Pastor Dick was talking about how we can't try to fix tings ourselves. We need to rest in God and trust him with our whole heart that he will fix evertyhing in our lives, all we need to do is ask! He doesn't give us anything we can't handle. I know pesonally that's exactly how I am. I am always trying to fix things on my own. Things don't usually work that way! I know I need to trust him with everything. But it's so hard to do!! I have had a lot of stuff on my mind the past week or so. IT was a good one, and hit right at home!!! Another good thing that happened today was that Beth and I went to cell group. That was fun, we just sat around and kind of socialized. Usually they do a book study type thing. I think the book they are reading is a book that I definitely need to read for myself. I think that it could do me a lot of good. I am definitely going to looking into the church across the street from me when I get back to school. It's just too close not to! Not to mention I think that is where Liz goes and Ashley said that she wouldn't mind going with me. It would really make her mom Happy! So we're definitely going to have to do that when we get back! Oh well...I guess I'm supposed to get up at 6:30 in the morning to call Terry-Lynn to see if she needs me to babysit. The way I look at is, if she needed me, she would have called me herself. But I can't really pass up the money. So I'm gonna get my sorry butt out of bed and call her in hopes that she does need me and that I can make some extra cash! Fingers crossed guys!! I am going out with Wes on New Years Eve. We're going to a hockey game and then to some party of his friends. But I do believe Beth is going to come rescue me! Thankfully!!! I don't really want to be in that scene. But we'll see how it goes! Anyway, I think I'm gonna go, I should probably get some sleep in case Terry-Lynn does need me to babysit! Ya never know!!! Until next time..Over and Out......... "Will I get better or stay the same. I find I always move to slowly. Can't lift a finger, can't change my mind. I never knew till someone told me that... If that's all you will be, you'll be a waste of time. You've dreamed a thousand dreams, none seem to stick in your mind. Two points for honesty. It must make you sad to know that nobody cares at all." ~Guster Two Points for Honesty

As Jessica says all the time...life is a lot to think about sometimes!!! I think the first thing that I have been thinking about a lot lately is the fact that my brother is STILL here. I know it sounds mean, and I should be more sympathetic towards him, but hey....he's beginning to overstay his welcome. My parents baby him enough as it is, and quite frankly, its getting really annoying. He had the audacity the other day to call me a mooch. I wanted to turn around and say "excuse me, who is the mooch here?" He's the one who has been living here rent free, eating here free of charge, sleeping in my bed, sleeping on the couch all day, and not helping out around the house. At least when I'm home, I do my own laundry, help my mom with the house work, like doing dishes, and vaccuming, and I even cleaned my bathroom. He does none of that, unless he is forced to do it. It gets really nervewracking because my dad isn't in the greatest health and shouldn't be doing a lot of things, and yet he does them anyway when Justin is fully capable but just too lazy to do them! Like the other day, my brother came home for Christmas from South Carolina, and all Justin had to do was go get him from my grandparents house an hour away. He couldn't even do that without complaining about it. Then it ended up that my dad drove all the way over there by himself to get him. I would have done it myself, but I dont have a car and noone will let me drive theres. So Im out on that one! It's just really frustrating. THen tonight he comes home drunk and thinks its really funny to get on my screen name and start talking to my friends. And its not like he was carrying on a civilized conversation...he was pretending to be other people, like my mom, and asking stupid disgusting questions. Made me angry. Another thing is that he didn't even buy anyone any christmas presents...but yet took all the gifts he got. If I didn't buy anyone a present, I definitely would not accept the ones they bought for me! That made me a little upset!!! Glad I got his present the cheapest I possibly could! Grr!!! Another thing Ive been thinking about a lot lately, is that i have this friend, a guy friend, that I just can't help but want to be with. We've always been pretty good friends, but for some reason I get this feeling that he just doesn't feel me the same way that I feel him. But the scary part of it is, is that myself along with others could see me with this person down the road. They are everything that I've ever said that I wanted in someone. I don't know, but like a wise person once told me, God has someone for me...and he'll show me to them one day! So I'll just be patient...and maybe everything will work out! But on a good note, I got an email from Brandon!!! YAY for that...no longer have to worry about him being upset with me. I think things are going to be ok with that situation!! I knew they would be, we both just needed a little bit of time to cool off!! So that's good!!! My Christmas was ok....i've had better in the present department, but all of my family got together...just the 5 of us...That was really good!!! I think thats it for now!!! Until next time....over and out.......‘Cause I would give everything that I own. I’d give you my love and this heart made of stone. The sun the moon the earth the sky. The motorcycle that I like to ride. I would do anything. I would give everything. To be your everything!!! ~Stereofuse Everything

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! YAY for christmas! Don't you just love this time of year? I do!!! I hope everyone has a very very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year too!! Hope all of your wishes come true, and you spend it with the people you love!!!

It's hard to believe it's almost Christmas. I mean in like 15 minutes its going to be Christmas Eve, and there isn't a speck of snow on the ground. How can Christmas come without snow?!?!?! It's the only time of the year that I can actually tolerate it! Who knows....anyway, once again, its been a few days since ive written, and I thought it was time to update. Ive still been very very busy. Saturday, Beth and I went to a party in Lake Odessa. It was a friend of a friends 21st birthday party. It was ok. We got about two hours of sleep. Went to bed at like 4 and got up at 6 to get ready and head out so that we could be back for church in time!!!! So i was tired all of Sunday and didn't do anything! Monday I went shopping with my mom, and finished up some of the Christmas shopping. Then last night I hung out with my friend Andrew. It was cool to just get to hang with him. Then I didn't do anything today. Beth and I went and got our nails done...a treat from her mom!!!! Yay for moms! I keep finding all of my christmas presents. Lol...well i dont know for sure if they are mine or not..I just assume they are. Like the other day my brother was in the garage and I went out to ask him a question and I opened the door and there was bike in there....Who else would they buy a bike for???? Who knows...but then today i found a note on the table that said MIchelle said she could use an umbrella...pick one up if you go out today!!! Man, I'm doing pretty good...I dont even have to be snooping and I find stuff! Anywho...I guess I'm going out with Wes for New Year's Eve. We'll see how that will go. I want to hang out with him, and then again I don't. I think I'm finally over him, and I know that I'm going to like him again after then. Oh well...who knows. My mom told me not to let it go past being friends. And I dont want to, but I do like him..I like him a lot!! We'll see!!! Until next time....over and out!

It's been a few days since I've updated, very unlike me..but oh well!! Home isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I've been so busy, that I really haven't had much time to sit and be bored. I think for once, it's almost better than being at school!!! Yeah...you're not seeing things, I really did just say that! Hard to believe I know. I haven't really been home that much. Starting off, the second night I was home, I stayed at Beth's and went to church with her on Sunday morning. Then Monday I had to work in Lansing, so I went and stayed at my grandparents house until Wednesday night. I worked all week in lansing, well Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. The new job is going GREAT!!!!! I absolutely love it. It is way better than the cafeteria. I have a lot more to do there, but I am way excited about it!!! Thursday Beth and I went to Birch Run and went shopping, and then we went to Bronners! If you have never been there, I definitely suggest you go. It is one of those places where you could spend all day walking around and just looking at stuff. IT IS WONDERFUL...then Thursday night, Beth and I went snowboarding at Apple Mountain. Now if you are up for some real good live entertainment, you should definitely go out there the next time we are there. It is some funny stuff! My brother works there, and he can get me in for free, which is marvelous!!! It was a lot of fun, I definitely am going to be out there more this season than ever before!!!! It was a lot of fun, but I definitely paid for it this morning....I was so sore, heck I was even sore before I went to bed. Oh well....good times, good times. Today I went Christmas shopping and finished buying my family's presents. That was a good time...once again, Beth and I went shopping. I do believe this is our 3rd or 4th time shopping in the week that I have been home!!!! Hey, it's Christmas time, and WE LIKE TO SHOP!!!! Oh yeah, some more exciting news is that I got part of my christmas present today....a half hour massage at Shapers Spa. I am so excited about it. I need to go get a massage so bad!!! Can't wait to go! But anyway, I've decided that Ive been letting a lot of things bother me lately. And I've decided..life is too short to worry about the things that are out of your control! Like the thing I previously wrote about, Eh, I'm over it. I even sent him out a Christmas card. Now isn't that nice of me?!?!?! I still haven't heard from him..and I wish he would at least send me an email or something, maybe try giving me a call...but whatever...He has a life, and maybe I'm just not part of it anymore. Thats life, people change!! But I think thats it for now. Until next time...over and out!!

So today while I was at work, I was bored and decided to read my mail and a few other things. When much to my astonishment, I came across something that I think has solved the majority of my stress and frustrations of the past month. So awhile ago, like 3 weeks or so, I wrote about how this friend of mine was an ass and told me he didn't have time for me. I'VE DECIDED WHY!!!! It's all because of a girl! Not that I care about it...I'm actually quite happy for him. The funny part of it all is, is that we have a mutual friend, whom I was good friends with before I knew this guy. Well when our mutual friend started dating this girl, he completely stopped talking to me, except for when the girlfriend was around. Then when he dumped the girlfriend, he would start calling and talking again. Then next thing you know, I stop hearing from him...come to find out he has a new girlfriend!!! Do you see where I'm going with this???? I hope so because to be quite honest, I've wasted enough time worrying about the whole situation to sit here and type out this really really long story that can be summarized in about 6 sentences. Pretty much, this friend of mine has found a girl that he likes, and who likes him back, and hes cut ties with me completely. THe funny part of it all is, is that a long time ago when this all happened with the mutual friend, he bitched and complained about the mutual friend and talked about how big of a jerk he was, and how he didn't deserve me being his friend, and blah blah blah....well correct me if I'm wrong..but isn't that the same thing that happened here?? So yeah, in case your reading this...and you know who you are.....your a jerk, and an ass..just like you called Eric....and you dont deserve me being your friend!!! You could have at least mentioned it!!! Like my very best friend who is always there for me once said: " BOYS ARE STUPID THROW ROCKS AT THEM!!!"

I got a new job! As I said the last time I wrote. It is ok so far. There is a lot of work I didn't realize I was going to hvae to do. But hey, it should be fun anyway! I am kind of bored at home. But I've only been there for a few days since I've been home. I stayed one night at beth's house....and another night I had a Christmas party that went late and I had to get up early to come to lansing for work. So thats been it! I'm excited about Christmas coming. It should be fun. My computer at home went poopy, so my dad has to get it fixed. But anyway, I think im gonna head back towards St. Johns for the day! I've been here since 10! It's been a full work day!!! Tata for now!!! Until next time....over and out!

So yet another semester of college has gone by, and I dont feel any closer to graduation! Fortunately, I am finally a sophomore and that many credits closer to being a junior. But anyway, I am ok with the fact that I didn't do my very very best in all my classes. I have no one to blame but myself. Granted, I know I could have done much better if I had put a little more effort into everything....but hey...whatcha gonna do??? There is always next semester! Today's final was so easy. It was the past four exams regurgitated onto another test. So I guess reading over all of those old tests last night, helped me more than I thought it would!!!! Thats a plus. I'm going home in a little bit, and if you can catch me online there I'll talk to you. If not, and you want to talk...call my cell. It needs the exercise. That poor thing has been sitting around here not doing anything for like the past four months. So it's time he got some good use!!! I start my new job on Monday. I am really really excited about it all. Hopefully this job wont be too bad!!!! keep your fingers crossed! I think thats all for now! Until next time....over and out!!!

WOW!!! Last night is kicking my butt big time today! Me and the girls thought it would be a great idea to pull an all nighter and stay up studying for our finals today!!!! Well needless to say, I made it until about 5:30-5:45 until I finally had to put the biology flash cards down and climb into bed. I didn't really want to go to bed because I knew as soon as the alarm went off I would not want to get up and miss my final completely. I didn't not get up...in fact, I was still half buzzing off of the caffiene I had consumed earlier. Well I got up..studied for another hour and then went and took my exam. Which by the way, raped me severly in the bum! Well when I got home, it took everything I had to keep my eyes open, so Jessica and I went and took our spring schedules to the caf, and ate some lunch. For some reson today, the food just tasted like poop, and nothing seemed to satisfy me. I think it was probably just because I was way to tired to eat, and didn't really want to do anything but sleep. Well I woke up with this horendous case of heart burn and I'm pretty sure that Honey, Pepsi, and the excedrin migraine I took last night wasn't a very good combination. Well when we got back here, Ashley was just getting home from her final, and Stephanie was leaving for home. So we decided it was nap time, and we laid there talking about stupid stuff, and laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. Don't you love those moods when your so tired that everything you say is funny, whether it really is or not! All three of us had afternoons like that! Well I think I ended finally falling asleep at 12:40 and the alarm went off at 1 for me to talk to these ladies about a job! I ended up falling back asleep and got up at like 1:34...I had to be there at 2, and I was in no means ready to go talk to people about a job. So I had to rush around, and then wait for the bus. Well like every other time when you actually need the bus to be there when they are supposed to be there, IT WAS LATE!! So I made it to the Student Services Building at like 2 after 2! Boy was I relieved! Well I got the job!!!!! Yay for no more cafeteria! That made my whole week! Well I have two more finals left, and then its off to home for a month! SHOULD BE FUN!!!!! But thats all for now, Until next time! Over and out

Today was a crappy day...work sucked, and my boss was an ass....I called him a f*ing asshole, and he heard me...Didn't say anything, but I'm sure he was mad! I worked for 7 hours...7 too many in the caf! Then i came home and slept for a while. My mom called to give me an update on my dad. Hes doing ok I guess. We'll see what tomorrow brings!! But I'm going to bed! Until Next time..over and out!

This seems kind of childish..but I wanted to do it anyway!!!!

PAST
First grade teacher's name: Mrs. Baily
Last word you said: DAMN
Last song you sang: Clay Walker--I Can't Sleep
Last song stuck in your head: Jo Dee Messina -- I Wish
PRESENT
What's in your CD player: Christmas CD's
What color socks are you wearing: not wearing any socks
What's under your bed: A bunch of tubs and boxes from when we moved in
What's the weather like: FREEZING
What time did you wake up today: 7:49am
FUTURE
Who do you want to marry: Someone who loves me
Are you going to college: Yeah
Where do you want to go: Fiji
What is your career going to be: Hopefully in the medical field somewhere
Where are you going to live: In the south somewhere
How many kids do you want: 2-3
Kids' names: Alexia Rachelle, Gabbriella Christine, Hayleigh Katherine, Jensen Thomas, Ethan Graham (weird we have a hockey player at MSU named that)
Where do you want your honeymoon: somewhere exotic
What kind of car will you have: HUMMER
-possessions-
wallet: black leather
hairbrush: yeah a little baby yellow one...
toothbrush: white and mint green from my fabulous DENTIST!!!
jewelry worn daily: silver hoop earrings and my necklace until i broke it yesterday! :(
socks: white
pillow cover: white
blanket: white with hot pink flowers
coffee cup: a big huge blue one..although its not for coffee, but hot chocolate
sunglasses: brown
underwear: mostly thongs
shoes: too many to list
nail polish: like one bottle
handbag: dont really carry one..
keychain: my msu keychain beth bought me a long time ago...
favourite top: probably my central sweatshirt
favourite pants: my A&F pajama pants
soap: Dial
perfume: Curve, Ralph Lauren Romance
mp3 playing right now: Kenny Chesney--There goes my life
car: my parents sold mine!!! *tear*
tattoos: 2...one of a sun on my foot, and a thing of daisies on my back
piercings: two in each ear...

Well well well...so this is what Happiness feels like!! It's been so long since I've been happy and done something fun! But anyway, My roomates and I did a lot of stuff this weekend. on friday, like previously noted, we went to the Spartan Dischords concert, which was great! Those guys rock!!! Then on saturday, Ashley, Jessica, and I went to the MSU-U of M hockey game and watched U of M get beaten!! That was good, we had lots of fun there. The only bad part about the hockey games are that we have to sit right next to Slapshots the student section who happen to be really really annoying, and we sit in front of these guys who just think they are the coolest people alive...I BEG TO DIFFER!!!! But anyway, It was a very very good game! Then tonight we went to Crossroads Village and that was fun too! We walked around, took a bunch of crazy pictures, road the train, and even made some christmas ornaments! It was a good time. On the way home we went by Krispy Kreme and bought some doughnuts for this week. Can't make it through exam week without having a few krispy Kreme doughnuts! That was fun, the guy workin was in a very very good mood, and we got there just in time to see them making fresh doughnuts and to get a free one! I found out today that the lady that wanted me to babysit for her over break really does still need me, so that I will have a job when i go home!!!! yay for that! So that was some good news, the only bad part of this weekend is that my mom called me this afternoon to tell me that 1.) my dad was in the hospital with pneumonia which doesnt really make a good combination with someone who has emphysema!! and 2.) my brother got into some trouble, which he has no gotten himself out of, but I have a feeling it's only a matter of time until he gets back into the same trouble!!! That was kind of a downfall to the weekend. But anywho....I'm gonna go...Until next time...over and out!

What else can I do when the tears have all been wasted? And the only voice you choose to hear sings the songs of our hearts breaking. Say your dreams, they all have changed. Well, my smiles, they all have faded. And the thoughts that used to seem so pure in my heart, they now feel jaded. Because I wanna feel like I did. And I wanna feel innocence. What else can it be except this pride I'm sick of drinking. Storm clouds all have gone away. Can we stop this thing from sinking? Because I wanna feel like I did. And I wanna feel innocence. And I want you to know, and to feel in your soul, that someone has come and gone. I'm stuck up here with you. I never thought we'd get this high. I used to be afraid of falling. Now I'll spred my wings and I will fly. I wanna feel like I did. And I wanna feel innocence. I wanna feel like I did. --Hootie and the Blowfish....Innocence.

Spartan Dischords are AWESOME!

So tonight was a night I've been waiting for since last year! I finally got to go see the Dischords in concert! It was AWESOME! It's unbelievable how good they are! I can't even begin to explain!!! But anyway, it was a good time! Had a little roomate bonding and all, since we all went together and did something as a group!!! It was good! Anyway, I'm waiting for the delivery man to bring me my pizza! I'm starving...I haven't eaten since like 2 and it's not good for this whole diet thing! But anywho....I THINK IM GONNA GO CRAZY!!! Sometimes I wonder where people get off? Like what makes you think you have the right to treat someone else like shit? It's just wrong...wrong wrong wrong...in SO MANY WAYS! Not that it's any of my business, but who knows how long we are going to be around..BE NICE TO EACH OTHER! Is it really that difficult?!?!?!?! Seriously people! So i was a good roomate tonight and bought the girls Pizza. I mean this year Ashley alone has gotten me so much food, its not even funny. But anyway, that was good, i mostly ate the breadsticks, im not that big of a pizza fan, but anyway...they were good! Then i decided to try something and I turned my computer on to see if i could get these files off of it. Low and behold, the cursed thing stayed on long enough to let me burn 176 songs onto a CD, not to mention get the files i wanted! So that was the highlight of my night, hell i think that was the highlight of my entire semester! LOL...its sad i know, but my computer has been a hunk of junk all year! STUPID THING....anyway, as if that wasn't good enough, my hair fit into a pony tail!!! YAY!!! I'm not crazy I swear! To top everything off, just now we saw some girl get arrested! HAHA STUPID GIRL! her first mistake was getting drunk, her second mistake was getting behind the wheel of the car. As if its not embarrassing enough to get busted for that, she got busted right in front of our building, and I can almost guarantee that we weren't the only ones watching her! But they made her do all those crazy tests, and then they gave her a breathalizer...She was screwed!!! They handcuffed her, patted her down and put her in the back of the patrol car, about 10 minutes one of the two officers drove her away to her night in jail! I bet her parents will be pissed! Then her stupid friend tried to refuse a breathalizer...that didn't work, I think she still got a MIP!!! thats what happens when you drink while your underage..and then try to drive!!! It's not a smart idea!! HAHAHAHA...but for now, im gonna go! Until next time...over and out!

I got this Idea from someone else..THANKS!

It's not easy saying this to you. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But boy before you go, I want you to know. I wish you strength, when times are hard. Oh I wish with all my heart you find just what your looking for. I wish you joy, I wish you peace, and that every star that you see is within your reach. And I wish you still loved me! I wish that things were different you know that. But I'm still happy for the times we had..you mean the world to me, oh baby please believe...I wish you strength, when times are hard. Oh I wish with all my heart you find just what your looking for. I wish you joy, I wish you peace, and that every star you see is within your reach. and I wish you still loved me! Oh losing you is tearing me apart, but a part of me will be with you no matter where you are. --Jo Dee Messina I Wish

The time has come....I am getting sick. I can already feel it. I figure I'll get sick just in time for my finals and the beginning of break! What a great thing eh? Anyway, Ill just have fun now while Im still not sick! This week has been the longest week ever i think! It woud figure that it would be the case, we finally have plans all weekend, and the week goes by like it's in slow motion! Seriously, Thanksgiving break seems so far in the past. It feels like that was months ago, but in reality its only been four days that I have been back! Must not be having any fun! Anywho, I got the best call ever today. Someone called me offering me a job! Thats a definite first. It kind of makes me a little bit mad though. I interviewed for the same job over two months ago, and the lady is just now calling me back saying the position is available. What the heck....not to mention I had to go suffer through the caf for 6 weeks!!! Gr...but maybe, just maybe, I'll get this job, and I wont have to work in the caf anymore. Even though I think i could quite possibly miss it! Who would have thought that I would actually enjoy working in the cafeteria! Anyway....I had a nutrition exam today, and mind you I haven't been to the actual lecture since the first exam, and i did really well! I only got 5 wrong, which gives me a 90% on this test, and if I do well enough on the optional final, I'll get a 3.5, or maybe even a 4! That would make my semester if I got a 4 in the class i went to the least! HAHA!!!! only like 22 more hours until my weekend starts, i couldn't be more excited! This is so true, it's the lyrics to my new favorite song!!!! "Although I know tomorrow will be here, tomorrow may not always be here for me. 'cause nothing in life is for certain, but death's guaranteed! and thats the reason that i say dance every dance and live each day as though its your last and tell those that you love how you feel before its too late! Life is right here and now, we only go around just one time, so embrace them dont waste them for these are the days of our lives!" It's so true! but anyway, thats it! Until next time...Over and out!

I think that this whole Ryan and Trista thing on tv is a load of hooey! Do you really believe that they are in love? I don't! I think that they are just in it for some large amount of money that they were offered! Honestly! Im getting kind of tired of all of these stupid reality tv shows. Things like Average Joe, and Joe Millionare, how can people be stupid enough for the producers to be able to pull that show off twice?? I am amazed at times at how dumb people can be! But on another note, tonight was the first time ive worked since last Monday...it was weird going in there. Somedays I love working in the caf, and somedays I absolutely hate it! Tonight was one of the nights that I actually enjoyed it. There are some definite perks to it. One of the supervisors is really cool, and hes super nice to me, for reason's im not too sure about! But anyway, i get away with pretty much anything when hes there, and I think its absolutely hilarious! Tonight he let me go early, because one I have an exam in the morning, and two I didn't feel too hot tonight. But still, hes funny! Plus there are some other students there that I love!!! Not to mention that most of my student supervisors aren't arrogant assholes this year! Well Im not stuck with one in particular, boy we all know who that is!!! I am really sad however that my cousin is no longer there, he hasn't been for a while..but still...it's not the same! Only one and a half more days until my weekend starts! I can't wait. It is going to be so much fun! I think its so funny, how obvious some people make it that they don't want to talk to you! I mean you can get online and not have to sign off right away, I get the hint...You don't want me to talk to you...I WONT IM YOU!!!! Wow! ON a much lighter note, I heard the best song ever the other day on the radio. Well I didn't know who sang it, so Ashley and I have been on a crusade trying to figure out who sang it. We listened to the radio for 3 days waiting for them to play the song, and finally LAST NIGHT they played it! You should definitely download it...It's called, Days of Our Lives by James Otto. IT'S SOO GOOD!!! Download it ASAP! I know you'll love it! I need to get my computer fixed. I'm really getting upset about it. Nobody know's whats wrong with it, and at this point in my life, I really can't afford to buy a new one! So I think thats about it for now..maybe I'll think of something else later! Until next time...Over and out!

Hmm...well let's see. Today was one of those days, where all you feel like doing is sleeping! I had another rough night last night...still had a lot of stuff on my mind, so once again i fell asleep on the living room floor. I didn't get a very good sleep though. I kept waking up for different reasons, one of the times i woke up, i realized that i had spilt the glass of water that was next to me all over my pillows. so i had to sleep on wet pillows, that didn't help the situation any. So some people have found my blog. If you have any comments, feel free, you know my email address...and if you have forgotten its at the top under..[[email-me]]! This semester is almost over. Weird to think about. Its been flying by, and in a week and a half its off for home for a month. What am i going to do with myself? No car to get away if i need to, at least beth will be home too, so she can take me places..Thank GOD for best friends!!!!! Then after break its back for another 8 weeks or so..then its spring break, not sure about my plans for that yet, then back for another 8 weeks, and then home for the summer before moving into my OWN apartment!! yay for that! It gives me something to look forward too....My OWN APARTMENT!!!! you dont know how happy that makes me saying it! It's going to be soo much fun! My room is a mess..maybe tonight if I can't sleep (which looks to be the case), ill clean it up a little...it definitely can't hurt anything! we'll see about that..i also need to do some more studying for my last psych exam tomm...i need to do good, so that i wont have to do as good on the final..it wouldn't hurt to do really well on the final though because it does replace my lowest test grade! OH WELL...im just rambling now...Im done. Until next time...over and out!

Oh What a Day!!

Overall, today was a pretty darn good day! It was a hell of a lot better than I had planned on it being, and I am just glad that I have such great friends that do care to listen to me when I need a shoulder to cry on! Thanks guys! But anyway, I slept until about 11 which means, yes i missed work and my Biology class, but hey I got some rest..some very undisturbed rest because nobody knew where I was! ( I was laying on the living room floor, i have some very observant roomates!) I got up and then got ready to go to class, and went to the very last formal lecture for my psychology class. Boy was I ever glad about that, usually psych wouldn't bore me, but man I got shafted in the professor department. The guy I got stuck with SUCKED....I think the funniest thing he said all year was today. He was asking us question and he was trying to prove a point on conformity when he asked the class if we had defecated in the past four days. Well only about half, if that even, stood up. So he says, 1 your all either lying, or 2 you're very very ill! That was funny, then he began talking about how usually when you ask questions like that people will look around and start to talk quieter, and he was like you can usually see the look on people's face as they are thinking, "did I take a SHIT in the past four days" It was hilarious, this man is so clean cut, and is very proper in lecture so it was a riot to hear him say that in class. Maybe it's not really all that funny, but Jen and I sure did laugh a lot. Today was World AIDS day, and I heard on the news this morning that about 8,000 people die every day to AIDS, and about 2.4 people are infected with it every hour. It's times like those that make me glad to be healthy and alive! Sometimes i take things for granted and when I hear stuff like that, i feel really guilty about not being thankful for what I am blessed with! I am really really looking forward to seeing the dischords on friday, not to mention the Hockey game on saturday, which by the way Wes isn't coming for, and Crossroads Village on Sunday! It will be lots of fun! Today when I was talking to Paige she told me that I should still go to Alabama for Spring Break because if nothing else her and I would get along. I believe that too....its so weird how much the two of us have in common!!! Im serious, im sitting here thinking about it, and it stuns me!!! Weird how stuff like that works. Anyway, i think the two crazy kids are done putting up decorations so I can venture back out into the land of 371. Until next time...Over and out!

Didn't sleep at all last night, something kept me up all night. wasn't my pillow, or my bed. Wasn't the tv, just all the thoughts buzzing in my head. Im pretty sure it was my own sadness that kept me awake until about 4:30 this morning. Just late enough for me to miss work and to wake up with the worst headache ever. Great!! I'm not sure if it was because I was so upet and I tried to stop myself from crying, or if it was that cigarette I smoked? YEAH I SMOKED! I didn't really want to, and its not like its an every day occurance like it used to be, but I bought a pack a while ago, and it's almost all still there. I think there are like 4 gone, I smoked most of them the last time I drank. I'm not sure what makes me smoke when Im drinking...it's so gross, and it makes me smell so bad. Plus it leaves that awful taste in my mouth. Anyway, I was talking to Stephen's best friend Paige today. It's weird, that girl and I have a lot in common! I was telling her about the awful situation from last night, and she was like thats terrible. So talking to her made me feel a little bit better about everything. Shes awesome! But anyway, Ashley, jessica and I went and got some ticket to see the Spartan Dischords on Friday. All four of us girls are going! It should be way fun! They are really really awesome! I can't even begin to explain how good they are! Lol!!! Anyway, I think thats about all for now...Until next time..Over and out.

WOW!!! My weekend was bad, who knew it could get worse?!?!?! I swear to you, i think I just heard the most hurtful thing in my entire life! This person I thought was one of my best friends, just informed me that he no longer has time for me. he can't just drop what hes doing to talk to me on the phone, even though it's EXTREMELY long distance to call him. (not to mention the fact that I changed my cell phone plan so that I could call him without having to pay an arm and a leg!) Anyway, he said that he hates talking to me on the phone because all I ever say is "right" and "okay"! well i guess conversations dont go both ways these days! I guess if he would have talked too than maybe I would have more to say than, "right" and "okay"! I guess he never thought of that! Anyway, so yeah he pretty much told me that I have a screwed up life, and that he doesn't have time to listen to me. But hes glad that I know how to be a good friend and was there to listen when he needed someone! Thanks, I'm glad that you had time to talk when you needed someone, but its too much of a hassle to talk to me when I need someone. I also noticed that his behavior only began to change when i started talking to one of his other friends! I swear jealousy is an ugly thing. Way to turn your back on someone! So pretty much for him watching a movie and playing PS2 is way better than talking to his friends! Or I guess just me. You know that saying what do you do when the one person who can make you stop crying, is the one who made you cry? yeah thats exactly how i feel at the current moment! I feel like shit, and I can't believe he had the audacity to say, "sorry IF i hurt your feelings!" How could you say something like that to me and NOT hurt my feelings! Id feel like he meant it more if he would have said, "sorry that i hurt your feelings!" It's almost like saying, hey im not really sure what i did, so ill just say sorry to try and make you feel better! FUCK THAT!!!! This one conversation has ruined my whole week, and honestly this has been the best week i've had in a long time. so thanks for that, way to be a GREAT FRIEND!!!! I'm sorry to say it, but YOU WILL NEVER FIND ANYONE ELSE LIKE ME!!!! Thanks for everything!

Well....now that that is over (my thanksgiving break), I can get back to the daily grind here in Good Ole' East Lansing. Yahoo!!! Anyway, I knew there was a reason I hated going home! If it's not for the simple fact that my town is completely WARPED, it's the fact that I swear to you my own family has it in for me! It all started about a month or so ago. First my mom began giving away all my clothes that I had left at home in my closet. Some of which were some of my favorites...and then she decided it would be a good idea to let my brother take my bedroom over. Well I had gotten over that because really, it's not like I'll be around and my brother will be there until march! So I guess, that was ok and I had gotten over it! But then to top things off, I decided to tell my parents to just fix my car for me for Christmas, when my mom informed me that my Dad wanted to sell my car. So we sat down, him and I, and we talked about why he wanted to sell it, which made perfect sense, but I told him I planned on taking it back to school with me after break! So he was like well, then I wont sell it. So I thought we had settled it when this lady came up and asked if we had a car for sale, and my dad being the nice guy he is, said “No, but I could sell you Michelle's car!” WTF?? Seriously, what the hell. So not only did my mom give my clothes away, she gave away my room, and they SOLD MY CAR! So now, I have to sleep on the couch when I go home, and I have to rely on OTHER people to drive me around. It's like being in high school again! I was PISSED!!! My actual Thanksgiving was good, except for after when my mom was complaining about how bad the dinner was and blah blah blah. It was really frustrating, because I know my grandma slaves away every Holiday to make dinner for THE ENTIRE family, without the help of anyone else, and I was mad that my mom had the audacity to complain about it! But it was a good dinner, my entire family was there!! My mom, my dad, me and both of my brothers! I think thats the first time that has happened in a long time! Not to mention the fact that my Aunt Kim and Uncle Rob came. They are never there, and it just made the holiday all the more better! So that was fun! I did 8 loads of laundry this weekend, so thats what filled up most of my time. But I did go to the SVSU, GVSU game and had a good time there, even though SVSU lost, which means no Alabama in a couple weeks! Then I went to my second family's house. Beth and her family always lets me come over, and I swear that I spend more time there on holiday's than I do at my own house! Its fun!! But here is some more disturbing news! I found out that this person I thought was one of my good friends, and that I could talk to about anything, doesnt even like talking to me on the phone! YEAH!! How shitty is that?!?! This is a direct quote from the person who told me (who by the way is a very good source!) “He isn't a phone person. He doesn't enjoy talking to people on the phone. He just doesn't have that much to say. And I know for a fact that that is especially true when he talks to you! He says you either start talking to your roomates or you just sit there. It makes him somewhat uncomfortable.” All that from a person, that I've spent hours talking to on the phone IN ONE NIGHT. Also the person who always tells me to call them. He's not doing me a favor by asking me to call him. So I'm just going to not call him. If he wants to talk to me...he has a phone, and he knows how to dial!!! Yeah. But anyway, I think thats all for now! Until next time...Over and Out!

So yeah it's Wednesday! Time to be going home for Thanksgiving, but oddly enough I'm still sitting here. This place seems to be the bane of my existance, yet im the last one to leave! Funny how that works. I hate days like these when everyone is gone, and I mean everyone, and it's so quiet you can hear people vaccuming 2 floors up! It's bad. It's kind of depressing! Anyway, I get a 5 day vacation!! Hoo hah!!! I've been waiting for this since the day I moved in! I mean I'm not very fond of home these days (my brother is home before he goes into the service and my mom gave him my room, so now I have to sleep on the couch or floor..wherever there is room!!! how sweet right???), but something about these cement walls, and the tile floors with patched up carpet on them, just seems to lose their luster when compared to home. Not to mention the fact that I will be eating REAL turkey and mashed potatos for not one, but probably 3 or 4 days!!!! Does it get any better than that? Honestly?!?!?! So I had this web site on AOL..one of those stupid member pages. Well last night I took like 3 hours and completely updated it. Pictures and all. It's awesome!!!! As cheesey as it seems, I'm pretty impressed with my abilities!!! Last night, Ashley, Stephanie, and I were sitting in here and I was reading these stories of hauntings all over the country when someone knocked on our door. It was kind of freaky and we just quietly sat here looking at each other like what the hell...do we answer the door?!?! Well the door was open, so the guy stuck his head in and was like Hello?? Well come to find out he was part of the Spartan Dischords. They are this really really awesome mens acapella group here at State. Boy are they good! Well anyway, throught the year they go around to all the residence halls and sing on the girls floors, and last night happened to be the night they were singing in Akers. They were soo good that we followed them down to the next floor and I was half tempted to keep on going down to the first floor! Well they informed us that they are having a concert not this friday, but next...Dec 5. It is going to be a great weekend because one it's my weekend off!! Two the Spartan Dischords are performing on Friday. Three Wes is supposedly coming down to go to the MSU-UofM hockey game on Saturday. Even if he doesn't come that is still good..because that is going to be one kick ass game!!! Our Hockey team is pretty darn good!!! So Im excited! Ya know, I am very impressed with the United States Postal Service. Being the great friend that I am, I decided to send Stephen a birthday card, or two, and Brandon his shot glasses that I have been promising for months now! I sent them out last Friday at like 4, and they got them on Monday! I can barely get mail from home in that amount of time!! It's crazy I tell ya!!! I think by the time Christmas gets here, I'm going to be all Christmased out...Seriously!!! Our room is completely decorated, lights, tree, stockings, things on the windows! We hve so many Christmas lights up that when you turn the room lights off, the room is still completely lit up! It's nuts! Anyway, Im sick of writing! I think im gonna go count the change in our Alabama fund, and wait for my grandparents to come! until next time....over and out!

So its official....Winter is here! We finally got snow here in Good Ole' Michigan :( not so excited about that! Unfortunately I was damned with living in the arctic north. Today when I decided to check the weather, you know to compare the weather here and the weather with the big whiner's in Alabama, it said that it was currently 25 degrees here but only felt like 11! Thats exciting specially since it was like almost 60 down there. The other night Stephen was complaining about how 45 degrees was soo cold! Damn..I wish it were 45 degrees right now! Man that would be like a heat wave around this area.

Anyway, today was a pretty darn good day at work. First of all, Lazy Tammy wasn't there and I ended up working with the guys (JT, Tom, CB, and some kid named steve..go figure). Well anyway, J.T. thought it would be fu to laugh at me all day. so we ended up at each others throats all day..in a joking way though. So that was entertaining. He was telling me that his neighbor shot her husband in the head and then locked him in their bedroom for 2 or 3 days, proceeded to to put him in a toolbox (One of those extremely large ones) and then burried it in their back yard. She moved their kids pool over top of the spot she burried her husbands dead body and then let the kids swim in it. MAN I TELL YA...there are some definite weirdo's out there! The crazy thing of it is that they were well-to-do people. He was a lawyer, and they weren't sure what she did but he said she was highly educated. WOW!!!! So that was my good day of work. For the most part I just stood around and didn't do anything..but whats new?!?!?!?

Our room is all decked out for Christmas now. I know I know its not even Thanksgiving yet, but Jessica made a really good point.....By the time we get back from Thanksgiving, we only have 12 days until we leave again for Break. So why not decorate early. Anyway, I dont think there is any area of our room that isn't covered in lights, and not a time in the day when we aren't listening to Christmas Music. It's funny to because its the same 12 songs over and over again. Sometimes we crack me up! Speaking of Christmas...I found a job for over break, and I didn't even have to look for it. Now that is some quality stuff. This lady my mom works with needs a baby sitter so that her kids don't have to sit in day care all day. So I'm going to baby sit. Her kids are super cute, not to mention the ex husband isn't too bad looking himself. Plus he is a really nice guy!! LOL...IM BAD I KNOW! I really need to get myself into shape before Spring Break. I can't go down there looking to impress the guys looking the way I do now. I mean I'm not fat, I just have a bit of a gut. That definitely needs to go! So thats what im going to be working on from now until spring break.....losing my beer gut! (it isn't really a beer gut, just from being inactive!) I think thats all for now. I might think of more later!!! Until next time......

So these past few days have been a lot better. Burch is convinced that Jared Duquette wants me because he Im'ed me the other day to tell me to cheer up and the other night he was talking to me when he was drunk and he said that i probably looked hot as hell without my braces. I was like Burch hes drunk...all guys say stupid shit like that when they are drunk!!!! CRAZY...it would be really really nice if he did want me though! LOL....it would be a dream come true! Thursday I did a whole lot of nothing and that felt good. Then Friday, I just didn't go into work. I had every intention of calling in but I got up late and Amanada was already here so I had to leave. Ooops...OH well I have that story all planned out. But anyway, Amanda, Ashley and I went out to Capstone so that Amanda could sign her part of the lease, and so that we could officially have a place to live next year! I am so excited. It just makes everything better! Or least I think it does. If I'm pissed off about something I can just say I have my own apartment next year!!!! LOL...anyway, Friday afternoon, Ashley Jessica and I went to the post office and did a little bit of christmas shopping! Well actually we just went to JoAnn's and bought a whole bunch of stuff we didnt need!!! Ooops....so now I'm officially broke. I spent every last penny I had. well not really, I spent everything but 1.94....Hopefully my cell phone bill wont come too soon. But i get paid in like two weeks anyway, so that should be ok! Once christmas gets here and i get all that paid for its going to be time to start saving for the APT. So thats some good news. Then Friday night was the craziest night ever i think. Jessica's mom and her friends decided that they wanted to come to lansing and go to the bars and the crash on our floor. LOL...yeah HER MOM! it was good times. We told her that her fee for staying here was a 12-pack of bud light bottles for me, a fifth of vodka for jess, and some bacardi O for Ash. Low and behold Penny shows up with all of it! Not to mention she is making us all dinner tonight! So on friday night we all just sat around and hung out....drinking. Then finally Jen and Buffa came in and wanted us to go to a party with them. So Steph, Jess and I went....and it was small but rather entertaining!!! We were playing flip cup..and boy was i tearing up at that! It's been a while since i played last....but i did ok! BUt then the cops came and that had to end, so we left (not because the cops came but because we told ashley we would be back by 1..and it was already 12:45). We got back here to find ashley almost passed out on the floor by our bed! CRAZY....Stephen called me and I felt a lot better, because we talked for probably an hour or so, and that was good! Hes not mad at me which is even better....but he told me he had been upset on Monday..Brandon was wasted and so was everyone else. they were all tailgating for the auburn game on Saturday NIGHT...the game didnt start until 6:45 the next night.....but anyway....Saturday, i sat around and watched football all day! It was a good day, MSU won and so did Auburn. The only bad part was that Ohio State lost to U of M. By no means do i like either team, but if I had to choose I would have definitely picked OSU to win! But oh well. Not a biggie! Like I said before, today we are all going to Jessica's house for dinner. The ladies are making us dinner! So that should be nice for a change, a nice home cooked meal!!! YAY!!! So lets just keep our fingers crossed that this week will go as good as these past few days have been!!! but for now I think im done! Over and out!!

Man, I've really been in a slump lately. I dont know what it is, but whatever it is it needs to hurry up and pass! Not only am I depressed but I'm emotional too. Its weird how often and sporadically my moods can change. one minute i can be as happy as can be, and the next almost in tears. Like tonight, it's weird. I was so happy because this guy that i was in love with all throughout high school sent me an instant message. I had up an away message that said, "And I feel like I'm at an all time low, slightly bruised and broken....", because well thats how i feel right now. and he just sent me a message that said, Aww its ok Michelle, keep your chin up kid! And being that i haven't talked to Jared in forever it just made my day knowing that he cared enough to send me a message telling me to cheer up! And i had been talking to steve-o and i told him what Jared has said and he freaked out on me. This is what he said to me, "The Crowned One (11:41:32 PM): that's crap. i'm sorry, honesty rising. i tried to make you feel better. i told you to not let it get the best of you. he says something generically the same and you feel better. i'm going to bed because i've become a bitch." It honestly made me want to cry because what Steve-o thinks means the world to me, and I know I hurt his feelings, but that wasn't my intentions. Just sometimes he acts like its such a big deal to have to talk to me, and that hurts! Especially when he told me that he looked forward to talking to me every day, what happened to that? Oh well, its probably just a case of the falling to fast and hard for someone that I know i can't have. oh well....who knows. but anyway, im gonna go and maybe when i wake up, all this will just be a dream, and i wont have to worry about it anymore!!! Until the next time...

Hmm...As I sit here staring at the computer screen with about a million thoughts running through my head, hmm, is about all I can think to write. I'm not even sure where to begin. Honestly, there are so many things that have been bothering me lately and it sucks to have them all hit me at once. I guess the first place to start would be with school. It sucks and everyone knows that. But for me lately, it seems like school has gotten extra frustrating and hard. im not really sure if its so much that its hard or if its that I dont really care very much. I don't try to apply myself, and therefore, I fall behind and get lost. I know I can do it if I put my mind to it, but I just don't feel like doing it! Something changed. School isn't what I want to be doing. I don't want to be here anymore, and really there isn't anything I do about that either. If I quit school, id 1) never hear the end of it from my family and 2) id be a bum for the rest of my life, and there is no way I'm going to end up a nothing like most of the other people in my family. I am going to be the first damn person in my family to go to and graduate from college! No way am I getting out of it that easily. I just need to refocus my life on what is really truly important and get shit done. That's really all there is to the matter! So now that I got all that out, I could move onto the next subject. WES! That boy has done something to be I can't even begin to explain. I'm not really sure what it is, but its something I can't shake! Just when I think I'm over him and I'm ready to move on, he calls me or I get a chance to talk to him, and all those feelings come flying back into the picture. I mean its not like we ended on bad terms. We just decided that things would be better just as friends especially with me going away to school, and I honestly think it was to save him from being afraid that I would find someone else and he would be left alone. I'm not sure that would happen. For some odd reason, I LOVE him. I honestly truly love Wes. He's the first person I've ever felt so comfortable and happy with since I was with josh in high school. That's been a long time ago. Wes really is a great guy and all my friends love him, and all his friends and family love me. Sometimes I wonder why we aren't together and it really begins to frustrate me. This past week, my phone was off all week charging and he called and left me two voicemails saying he couldn't' get ahold of me and wanting to know where I was! It was cute just to see that he was worried about me! Even though if I were to ask him if he missed me, he would tell me he didn't, but I know deep down inside he does miss me! Sometimes I even think he misses me more than I miss him! But That's a whole new story. But now that I got my true feelings out, I can move onto a new subject. I haven't talked to Brandon or Steve-o in what seems like forever. I think its been almost a week. I don't know what's up with Brandon, he usually gets online or at least calls me. But not lately, he's just been kind of ignoring me. And Steve-o, only God knows what's gotten into him. He used to want to talk to me as much I wanted to talk him, and now he just seems uninterested. So I don't really know what's going on there. Maybe we wont go down there for spring break, not if these guys are acting like this. Its stupid! But who knows. I guess SVSU is doing really well, and if they make it into the championship game they are going to Alabama, and Beth wants me to go with her and the girls. If I did go that would be awesome, but I'm not sure id want to, and I'm not sure where it would be. The only reason I would go would be to see Brandon and all of them. But it might not even be close to where they live. So I guess we'll see. I doubt ill actually go because Beth said its in 3 weeks which lands me in finals week! No way could I go during finals week. That week is the what either makes or break this semester! I really wish I could find a reset button for the whole thing, start it all over again and take things seriously. I want to do good, I really do but sometimes I just can't find the motivation to do it! I am going to work my ass of next semester to get good grades and not fail out. There is no way I'm going to be on academic probation again like I was last year. That was SHITTY. Especially if I ever plan on getting into medical school. There's no way its going to happen if I I'm on probation again! GRRR....But I think I've vented enough for now. I'm gonna go to bed. This is the first time I've been up this late in a while. lol. Until the next time..........

Mans working sucks. This has been the weekend from hell!!! I worked so much this weekend, and the sad part is that its not even over yet, I have to be up at 5:45 to go into work. Grrr to the stupid cafeteria! The only plus side of the whole situation is that I have the cutest student supervisor. Oh wow...!!! Anyway, yeah so im pretty much worn out, I hate working weekends, but really i have no choice!!! And last night I was so tired that i fell asleep in the living room, and then i got up and went to bed, but forgot to set the alarm. So this morning I woke up and looked at the clock and i couldn't see what time it was so..i had to get out of my bed, and im on the top bunk which is extremely close to the ceiling. Well needless to say, I lost my balance climbing down the ladder, and stood up on the rung and smashed my head on the ceiling....IT HURT!!!!! i wanted to climb back into bed. So i got over to the alarm clock and low and behold it was 8:53..and i had to be to work at 9! I was already late...so i hurried up and got dressed...and left. well i switched with this kid yesterday and he told me that he worked from 9-1, but really he worked from 9-cl, which is like 4.. So i was pissed! so i worked all day and then came home and went to sleep. other than that ive done nothing all weekend!!! Just thought I'd update!!!! Until next time~

Do you ever just want someone to feel sorry for you? Even if its just for a minute? I get like that sometimes, and I'm not usually the one who gets like that...but after this week of hell, I just wanted someone to feel sorry for me! So I'm talking to this person who has this uncanny way of making everything in my life ok, and all they can tell me is to live a life without regret. And I wanted to say, "look, for one minute can't you just listen to what I'm saying, and feel sorry for me, for a split second?" No all they could do is preach to me about how life could be worse. This is what I say to you!!! GET OVER YOURSELF. So its not as if I didnt already want to crawl into bed and never wake up....now I just want this year to be over...I want more than anything to be done with school, and to never have to open another book again!! EVER! But unfortunately, I have countless numbers of years to go! BOO for that!
So everything seems to be going well with the whole "new brother" thing. His friend Todd still believes me that I'm his sister, and Pat and I have a regular little email thing going on. Its quite refreshing, but anyway, I really want to know if somehow or another we are related! Last night I had this dream that we were, that we actually were sibling, and that he was a love child from my dad. My dad was truck driver his entire life so it could very well happen!!! Who knows, I doubt it though, if anything we are going to be like 9th cousins or something. Anyway, thats all for now! Until Next time!!!

Oh I almost forgot, on Friday or something like that..I got this really random email from some guy asking if I was pats sister. Well I had no idea who pat is, and I know that I definitely don't have a brother named pat, I emailed him back politely saying that I was not pat's sister, and that I had no idea there were any other staten's around here. Well then when I went back to my inbox, there was a message from pat explaining that he and his friends (Todd being the one who emailed me) had tailgated here for the uofm state game the previous weekend. And that his sister had stopped by and his friends all gave him grief about her. So Todd decided it would be funny to look up and find his sister, and low and behold they came up with my name! So they emailed me. And if I wanted to play along that he would help, but if I didn't, than he would tell Todd that it wasn't his sister. So me loving a good challenge decided to go ahead and play along. So I emailed pat back telling him that I would play along, and emailed Todd back telling him that I truly was pat's sister and that he had told me to deny it. Well I guess Todd didn't believe me and asked me where pats last girlfriend was from, and so I found out that information and now I have Todd hook line and sinker. He believes it all the way! So come to find out, I have 2 sister, 3 brothers including pat, and I am the third from oldest! Its cool to have a new family! Not really, its pats family....But still its funny! Meanwhile pat and I are emailng each other back and forth...He seems like a pretty cool guy. Anyway, ill keep you guys updated on this situation. IM sure it will get pretty entertaining.

isn't it funny how the people you thought were your best friends, are the ones that prove to you, they couldn't give two shits about you!?!?!?!?! I have this friend, ill leave out the names, who has always had a problem balancing her relationships with her boyfriends, and her friends. And now that shes is juggling two guys, she really has no time for her friends. Well i shouldn't say she doesnt have time for her friends, she has time for the friends that she wants to make time for. And it seems like to me that we had a conversation not too long ago about how she better have time for me, and she told me "i'll always have time for you! he will never come before you!" Funny how that works when the last time i saw her i said, "Ill probably see you at Thanksgiving time.", and she told me, " no you'll see me way before then, Ill definitely come visit you!" and wow thats been almost a month. Funny how shit like that works. Anyway, my life has been pretty rough lately. And when i say rough, i mean high stress! I've been working like crazy making all the money i can save for the apartment next year, christmas, and my road trip that i have planned for Spring Break. Speaking of which, i am highly considering rethinking, but ill get to that later on! My jon in itself is a HUGE STRESS on my life. I hate the work, i hate a majority of the people, and i hate the hours i have! like on monday's im supposed to be in at 5:45, this morning i checked and the freaking supervisors aren't even in at 5:45. The first person got there this morning at 6. Good thing im not dedicated! lol. Another stress in my life is school! I HATE IT, i hate EVERYTHING about it. The classes, the exam, the place i live. About the only good thing are the people i live with. And no offense to those guys, but sometimes even that gets stressful!! Not to mention the fact that this is my long week to work and i have a test in every single one of my classes this week, on every single day! So thats stressor #2, stressor #3 is the fact that i just signed the lease on my apartment for next year. Its awesome to think that next year ill have my own place, but to think about all the money im going to have to fork out every month. It makes me want to cry. I am bound and determined to do it though! I am going to prove to everyone that i can and will do it!!! Its like the saying where there is a will there is a way! and believe you me, there is a will!!! Stressor #4, is the fact that the one person who has been able to make me feel alright lately, has seem to kind of disappear. you should know who im talking about, and if you dont, than you dont need to know! anyway, this person has just kind of distanced themself from me, and it really truly upsets me. i think its probably my fault because the other day i told this person how i felt and since then they've been kind of weird acting. I guess only time will tell...and ill have to take the person's stance on things, and say that its up to God to decide! This bring me to the point i made earlier on the whole alabama situation. Ashley and i were planning on going down there for spring break, but I'm honestly reconsidering it. I'm not so sure if i want to go or not. sure it would be fun, but i guess i dont want things to be weird! i like things the way they are!!! I guess we'll see how things go! But anyway, the update on my test week is that the first of four raped me in the ass. but whats new! I'm used to it! lol!! but im gonna go for now! Until next time!

OH WHAT A DAY!! First of all, I GOT MY BRACES OFF TODAY!! It is an amazing feeling having smooth teeth again. Honestly, you never realize how nice it actually is until you don't have it for a while. I guess it goes along with the saying you don't miss a good thing till its gone. That was definitely the case. For some reason, I think y orthodontist has something against me and put me through some extreme torture. He jacked my gums all up and now I have these huge puffy gums that are all scabby looking. He's an asshole. God I will definitely not miss going into his office every 6 weeks. Another extremely wonderful thing happened today!! Not only did I get a new smile, I got to go see my boyfriend. LOL! No he isn't really my boyfriend, he's' my DENTIST!! I have the hottest dentist on the face of this planet. And I swear to you that it is the only reason I actually like going to the dentist. I am by far his most favorite patient, and he is always asking me to marry him...Sounds weird I know but you gotta know the guy! HE'S AWESOME!!! But anyway, I think if I had the opportunity I would definitely have an affair with the man! He is that wonderful. lol, but now that I've come across as a freak....I'll move on to a new subject. If anyone who reads this has a car they want me to borrow for spring break, let me know. I honestly need a car to drive to Alabama to see my buddies! I'm hoping that my car will be fixed and I will have enough money to put at least one month's worth of insurance on it just enough to make it to Alabama and back!!! Sounds cheap, but hey I AM....That shits expensive and with my measly little job in the caf, there is no way in hell id be able to afford that every month!!! DAMN!!! but anyway, im gonna go for now...it was nice talking with all of you....until next time!!!

Man Monday's really really suck!! Seriously, I hate that I have to get up at 6 to go into work...(technically I'm supposed to be there at 5:45, but they don't notice, so I go in at 6:30!!) to work with a bunch of lazy assholes! It pisses me off royally! The main lady I work with is so lazy, I could honestly do the work she does in a 4 hour time period in about 20 minutes. Then she gets on my case about not being able to do 4 different jobs at once. 2 of which are supposed to be here! So that just starts my week off really bad. Then I have class at 10:20 which I rarely go to. I need to start going though...I can't afford to fail any classes this semester.
Anywho...I guess Ashley and I have made it official that we are going to go Alabama for spring break. It should be fun, we sat down yesterday and tried to figure things out. We decided it would cost us about $300 a piece to go down and back. Which isn't bad considering that $200 of it we figured in as spending money. So now all we need to find is a car to make it down there in. I'm going to ask my brother if we could borrow his, and see what he says, if not ill just ask my parents if they can get mine fixed so that we can take it...I'm almost positive that it would make if it were in better condition. I'm not worried!!! That gives me something to look forward! Hanging with some of my best friends for an entire week!! YAY FOR ALABAMA!!!
So today when I was reading away messages like I usually do when I'm bored I came across this really good point that fits in well with my entry yesterday! Granted I don't really like the person who's info I found it on, but I thought I would just post in on today's anyway....So here it goes: Yea, U-M beat us, but that'll happen when you couple extremely poor officiating with a 90% dropped pass rate. I can, however, take pleasure remembering how our defense railed Navarre on the fumble/TD run or the 10 sec., 70 yd play...Consistency and Mediocracy are two very different things... This is a very very good point. anyway, I think that's enough for now....until next time!

For those of you who dont know, this past weekend was the biggest rivalry game of our school year! We played U of M in football, and unfortunately we got beat. So we had an off game, aside from this game we have been having an alright season. So I guess people think its fun to give me shit about how we lost. To all of you who are thinking about rubbing it in my face that I go to MSU and we got beat, this is what i have to say! SCREW YOU!!! I didnt choose to go to MSU because they had an awesome football team or because they even had an awesome athletic program! I went here because this is the college that most appealed to me. I came here because i wanted to be a spartan, and no matter how much you get in my shit about how bad of a football team we have, IM STILL NOT GOING TO CARE!!!! I didn't tell anyone how badly we were going to beat U of M, actually i think the only thing i said about the game all week is that we had a good chance at winning, because quite frankly we did. Going into this game we were ranked higher than U of M in the coach's poll, Associated Press Poll, and even in the BIG TEN....so we had just as good of a chance at winning that game as they did. and the person i said that to is the person who gave me the most greif about the game. This is what I told him: Every team has their bad days, and our just happened to be on the same day as the biggest game of the season. And as for us being outplayed...if i remember correctly, U of M got outplayed by Iowa whom we beat. So you cant really judge a team on who they beat. So brag all you want, it doesnt really bother me! Our football team has come a long way since last year, even me, hating jeff smoker as much as i do, gives him props for the way he played on saturday! So the next time you want to rub it in how bad our football team sucks....stop being so damn childish and grow up!!

So today was a pretty good day in my world. It started off with a great conversation that lasted all night with this wonderful guy, which left me crawling into bed at about 5:30. And I have to say that Ashley was right. If you know me, than you know what im talking about!! hehe... the two of us have decided that we make the perfect pair because she's always right and I always get my way, so together its a fool proof plan!! So I went to my 3 o'clock class which was bio lab and we walked around and looked at plants in the green house, and then our TA gave us a group quiz, that I knew none of the answers too but still got full credit for because the other people knew them!! So that was a plus! secondly we got out at about 4:40 and I was back here by 5. which is awesome because I was supposed to work on thursdays from 5:30-cl, but I told them I couldnt because I didnt even get out class until 6, which is technically true, but I have never stayed in that class past 5:30. so I got lucky on that matter! then this is where the day gets bad for about 30 minutes or so...so Liz my RA asks me to go running with her, and me wanting to get in shape agrees to go. she informs me that she plans on running for a half an hour and I almost turned around. I just started running and there is no way I could run for 30 minutes straight!!! no way its happening....so I made myself a goal to run for at least 15 minutes. which I did accomplish and managed to get in a mile and a half....thats pretty crappy for 15 minutes...but hey whatcha gonna do? so we went to dinner then came back here and I stole her camera! her digital camera, and believe me, I have put it to good use. I took pictures of our entire room, and myself and all my roommates!!! im not real sure what else im going to take pictures of but im sure ill find something. I plan on keeping it for as long as I can before she starts asking me for it back...but know liz it will be a while..she is mighty forgetful!!! but thats all for now I believe, and ill talk at you all later!! NIGHT!!!

Man oh wow! I think i just want to drop out of school all together. Honestly, I hate going to class, and I hate everything about it. But if i drop out, then I'll be a bum for the rest of my life, and God knows I dont want that! So i guess my only option is to stay here and stick it out. i was thinking about maybe transfering somewhere, like somewhere warm, because if you know me, than, you know I HATE WINTER. And since winter is right around the corner, i get to look forward to being miserable for about 4 or 5 months, you can never tell with Michigan weather. so maybe i'll look into transfering. we'll see!! yeah, so...my week in a fast little recap, i was here all alone for the weekend, which can have its perks, i dont mind having the peace and quiet most of the time. but for some weird reason, this weekend was super boring and lonely. Well with Jen and all the girls drinking, i locked myself in my room so that they wouldnt barge in on me and overstay their welcome. So i hit the sack at about 3 and woke up at 3 on saturday (another perk of being here alone, getting to sleep as late as you want) and just hung around. I cleaned a little bit and then jen informed that i was going with them to a haunted house, so we spent all night trying to find a decent haunted house to go to, and we finally decided to go to one in Howell. Well the trip there was SUPER EXCITING, i mean come on, who wouldnt pass up riding in a car with two couples?? thats my idea of a good time, nothing like being the fifth wheel! Anyway, we get to the haunted house and it SUCKED MONKEY BUTT!!! so then we drove home and i sat here and talked online until about 2 when Bryce, Loai, and three other guys that they know came down to keep me company. So they were in here until like 3 or so, and they left. WEll that left me with nothing to do so i decided that i would just make it an early night and go to bed. So sunday rolls around, and like most every other sunday, i sat around and did nothing. I came up with the great idea that it would be fun to stay up all night and then go into work on monday morning without having gone to sleep. I had to be there at 5:45, and i almost made it too....i ended up climbing into bed at 4:15 and slept for an hour and a half. well i got to work 45 minutes late because i thought it would be nice to take my sweet old time getting ready, and they wouldnt notice me not being there anyway since it was my first day and all. So i got there and it wasn't quite as bad i thought it would be. I have a cute student supervisor named michael, whom ive never seen before, so that almost makes it worth while having to be there so damn early!! I spent 4 hours making omelet's when people wanted them, which isn't very much, and the rest of the time i just stood around! so not bad for my first day back in the hell hole! then monday night, we decided to take back our pop cans. we ended up with like 12 dollars worth of pop cans, which is about how much we have every time we take them back. so we got some more pop...(we so need to cut back on our "Soda" intake) and a cosmo...we decided its pretty pathetic when you pay more for a magazine than you do for a 12 pack of pop! but come on i mean Como is the BIBLE to us!!! then Lou and i decided it would be fun to have super speedy shower contest to see who could shower the fastest, and to much amazement from others, I WON!!!! i took a shower in about 3 minutes, and yes folks, i completely bathed, and washed the hair! Not bad for a girl huh??
That brings me to yesterday! WE DID A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING!!! i think we watched more episodes of Walker Texas Ranger than any of us combined in our entire life! It's sad that we even know the theme song to it too!!! Hey, we're in college, what did you actually expect us to study?? HAHAHA!!! Oh yeah, Jessica finally took her paper work in to the caf, which means she too will have to start working soon!! I finally got my phone all the way charged. I dont think its been fully charged in weeks! my phone decided to go down the shitter along with everything else i own! my computer, my phone, my clothes, everything is all going at once. i took my phone in to have it looked at and the man told me that i was going to have to get a part replaced, and if i was goingt o get it replaced i might as well just buy a new phone!! NOT THE ANSWER I WAS LOOKING FOR! anyway, so just add that to my list of things to buy, with the money i dont have! ashley decided yesterday thats its fun to tickle me, because i am outrageously ticklish. so everytime i wont do something she wants me to, she tries to tickle me. NOT SUCH A GOOD IDEA!!!
yeah so that leads me up to today. nothing much has happened today. i slept, i got up went to class, and now im waiting to go into work. weird that im actually anticipating it! anyway, its all good...its money in my pocket and who can complain about that? but for now kiddies, its time for me to hit the shower! ill talk at you all later!

Man it's a sad but good day in 371 W. Akers today. First off, Jessica and I had to swallow our pride and go down to the good old cafeteria and get jobs. That is the worst thing ever, for everyone who knows what thats like you can feel my pain. The good part of the day is that my computer is up and working, sound and all. For those of you who know me, You know that the sound on my computer hasn't worked all semester and I've just lived with it. There are 948 songs on my computer that I CAN'T LISTEN TO!!! That is really frustrating. Believe you me, I am going to play the shit out of those songs while my computer is on and still kicking! We'll see how long it lasts. ON another good note, since my brother is moving out of his apartment to go into the service, he no longer needs his stuff. SO being the good brother that he is, he told me that i could have all of his kitched stuff for the apt for next year. So we aren't going to have to buy anything for our kitchen next year, and Jessica and I already have some cute stuff for our bathroom. This is going to be awesome!!! I wish we could move in now! That would be great. I thought I would just write and tell everyone about my day. Thats all for now! LATA!!

Hmmm...well let's see, where should I begin? Well this past weekend was an extremely odd, but very entertaining weekend! It all started off on Friday when I went home for my cousin's wedding. My mom decided it would be better for me to be home so we could just leave from there on Saturday morning. So I got up and got ready Saturday morning and we left. Well at about 11 or so we were right around the Ann Arbor area and traffic was ridiculously backed up. We then realized that it was because Michigan was playing home and that everyone was going to the game. So me being the person I am, having so much school spirit and all, decided to make a sign that said GO GREEN!!!! Well, needless to say my mom didn't find it too funny and threatened to ground me. So I held it up at a motorhome full of ridiculously drunk college students and went about my business annoying my mom for the rest of the trip. Well after sitting in traffic for about 30 minutes, we were finally back on the road. We got to Ohio just in time to eat and go to the wedding. BOY WAS I EXCITED...(can you sense my sarcasm??) for those of you who don't know, that side of the family lives out in the stick of Ohio very very close to the border of Kentucky, so needless to say it was pretty much a read neck wedding. The ceremony was sweet and to the point and was over in a blink of an eye. So the next thing I know we're heading out to the reception where my mom, and both of my brothers are intending to get completely trashed, leaving me to be the designated driver. So I just enjoy the time I have being crazy with my crazy family and just dance the night away. Well before I know it its 10 and the DJ announces, well folks that about raps it up, have a good night and drive safely. So me and the three drunks pile into my brother Trail Blazer and head back to the hotel. We all run up change our clothes and then three of us, BJ decided to stay back and rest, got back into the trail blazer and proceeded out to my aunts house where the party was continuing. Well when we got there, my cousin, the one who just got married, was leaving. So my mom and my brother continue getting shit faced while I sit by the fire, and drink my mt. dew. My mom ended up giving me a cigarette to smoke, so that we could smoke together. Well then she decided it was time to leave, so we go hunt my brother down, and we interrupt a conversation he's having in the house with my cousin about getting laid tonight, so he informs my mom and I that he wont be joining us on the trip back to the hotel. So my mom and I leave and are driving, well my mom needs some smokes and a pop so she makes me stop at a gas station and then gives me some money and tells me get yourself some too. I think I like my mom better when she has been drinking, she's so much easier to get along with. Well, we get back to the hotel and my brother is passed out on his bed, and my mom throws her suitcase on him, which wakes him up. So she opens her suitcase to find that her shampoo has spilled all over everything....well instead of cleaning it out like most normal people she takes what she needs out of it, and leaves it laying on the bed. So me being the only sober one around takes it into the bathroom and cleaned it out for her. So I get it all cleaned out and then I too hit the sack. The next thing I know, the phone is ringing at 6:30, its my grandpa calling to tell us that they are leaving for breakfast at 9....why he decided to call 2.5 hours early is beyond me...but anyway, I get up and get ready. Then my mom is like we're leaving..so I haul all my stuff down to the car, because she tells me we aren't coming back. Then we argued about that for about 10 minutes, because she kept changing her mind on whether we were coming back or not. Well I guess we decided on not coming back to the hotel, so we get in the car and go to bob evans for breakfast. And boy was that fun, my grandparents come in all huffy and puffy because my brother is hung over, actually still drunk, from the night before. So they complain about that for a while...a few minutes later, in walks justin with red eyes, not even blood shot those bad boys were just pure red!! so we all had our laugh at him and my mom and I were done eating and decided to hit the road so I could get back in time for the concert. we get in the car and im out like 15 miles down the road, and I sleep until about 15 minutes from the border. Well about 10 minutes after I wake up, our car decided to break down. So we pull of at the next exit, and end up in a Wendy's' parking lot. we're frantically trying to call everyone who was down there with us so that they could come help us. we call my grandparents first, but my grandma had left her purse at my aunt and uncles so she obviously didn't have her phone. so then we call home and have my dad call my aunts house. then they proceed to call my other uncle who luckily is about 10 minutes ahead of us. so they come and help us...well we had to ride home with them, and believe me that was no fun car ride. their two kids are the biggest devil children I have ever seen in my entire life, and would not behave the whole way back. so by the time we got home I was pissed off anyway, and still had 2 hours to get home in time for the concert, well my parents decided that this would be a good time to sit and talk to my aunt and uncle about their new house. NOOO...they couldn't have talked about it on the way home, they had to sit and do it when I had somewhere to be. I know that sounds pretty selfish of me, but honestly people you just had two hours to sit and talk about this...you couldn't have done it then??? so meanwhile, im sitting there patiently remind my mom that I need to get going. well she is rudely ignoring me and I got pissed and said I have somewhere to be and unless you want to give me the $50 I just paid for my concert ticket, we need to get home. Well that finally got my mom mad enough to just want me to get out of there so she wouldn't have to listen to me anymore. so I got home and left again right away. the concert was awesome, Brian McComas, Chris Cagle, and Rascall Flatts. It was soo great, and we even caught a drum stick that Jay Demarcus threw out into the audience. It was good times! And now that im back at school, ive settled back into the same old routine. not going to class and sleeping late!!! its all good. I can just get the notes from someone else. anyway, I guess ill go for now! PEACE!!!

So, wow the whole apartment thing is slowly taking shape! It's so exciting to think that I will finally have a place all my own! It will be so nice to have the freedom and responsibility! The girls that I am going to be living with are just wonderful, amazing, hilarious party animals, and I know that next year is going to be great fun with them! The next thing on my to do list is to get a job. I keep applying and applying places, but nobody seems to want to hire me...its kind of sad. I just have to keep trying. Sooner or later i'm going to get one. Anyway, on to the next subject, I did pretty good on all of my exams this week, its weird to think that its already half way through this semester....I mean seriously in no time, it will be summer, and ill be working sooo much. WEIRD!! Speaking of summer, Ashley and I are planning on taking a road trip this summer down to Alabama, to see all the crazy guys who live down there! Ashley is convinced that I have not one, but two online boyfriends. Brandon and his roomate Steve-o. (In case your wondering, his name isn't really steve-o, its stephen.) She makes up all these crazy stories about how its going to be when they start to fight over me, and that sooner or later one of them is going to get jealous and throw the other's computer out the window!! Sometimes, I wonder just where her imagination comes from. I dont know anyone else who has such a vivid imagination! She is definitely an odd character! But hey, who isn't right??? Do you ever wonder why people come into your life? Because right now at this current moment I sure am wondering that! Sometimes you just meet these wonderful people that seem to change your life dramatically, and you wonder why they are even there! Maybe its God telling me that I need to wake up and realize what he is doing in my life! Seriously, sometimes I wonder what my purpose on life really is....and lately, I think im beginning to see! He has put some amazing things in my life lately, and boy am I thankful for them! They seem to be clearing my head, and making me focus on whats really important in life! But for now, I think thats all there is folks....Until next time!

Hmm...Where to begin, I used to have one of these things on Xanga, but I dont know, I dont really like it too much so I guess Ill try it on here now! Today was kind of a lazy day, well actually this whole week has been a lazy week! I have only been two one out of four of my classes, not a good start to the week! I just dont feel like going ya know? My classes are just so boring and monotanous....some days it doesnt bother me, but most of the time i hate to even bother! So i guess Ashley, Jessica, Amanda Reno, and I are all going to get an apartment together next year! I'm almost positive that is going to be one hell of a good time! I mean I already have tons of fun with Ashley and Jess this year, so throw Reen in there and you have yourself one hopping place!!! So far I guess we're looking at getting a place in Capstone, its like the cheapest most decent looking place we've found. SO hopefully there will be some openings, and we'll get one there!!! Now that I'm thinking about getting an apartment, I need to seriously find a job. I know im broke now, but when I have to start paying rent, im going to be screwed!!! And thats putting things lightly. I applied for a job today as research aid, so hopefully ill get it, and I will no longer have to worry about getting that job situation taken care of!!! We'll see how that goes! As for everything else not related to school, life has been going pretty good! And hopefully everything will continue to be good for the rest of this semester and the rest of the semester to follow! But I guess thats enough for now! Talk to you all later!