isn't it funny how the people you thought were your best friends, are the ones that prove to you, they couldn't give two shits about you!?!?!?!?! I have this friend, ill leave out the names, who has always had a problem balancing her relationships with her boyfriends, and her friends. And now that shes is juggling two guys, she really has no time for her friends. Well i shouldn't say she doesnt have time for her friends, she has time for the friends that she wants to make time for. And it seems like to me that we had a conversation not too long ago about how she better have time for me, and she told me "i'll always have time for you! he will never come before you!" Funny how that works when the last time i saw her i said, "Ill probably see you at Thanksgiving time.", and she told me, " no you'll see me way before then, Ill definitely come visit you!" and wow thats been almost a month. Funny how shit like that works. Anyway, my life has been pretty rough lately. And when i say rough, i mean high stress! I've been working like crazy making all the money i can save for the apartment next year, christmas, and my road trip that i have planned for Spring Break. Speaking of which, i am highly considering rethinking, but ill get to that later on! My jon in itself is a HUGE STRESS on my life. I hate the work, i hate a majority of the people, and i hate the hours i have! like on monday's im supposed to be in at 5:45, this morning i checked and the freaking supervisors aren't even in at 5:45. The first person got there this morning at 6. Good thing im not dedicated! lol. Another stress in my life is school! I HATE IT, i hate EVERYTHING about it. The classes, the exam, the place i live. About the only good thing are the people i live with. And no offense to those guys, but sometimes even that gets stressful!! Not to mention the fact that this is my long week to work and i have a test in every single one of my classes this week, on every single day! So thats stressor #2, stressor #3 is the fact that i just signed the lease on my apartment for next year. Its awesome to think that next year ill have my own place, but to think about all the money im going to have to fork out every month. It makes me want to cry. I am bound and determined to do it though! I am going to prove to everyone that i can and will do it!!! Its like the saying where there is a will there is a way! and believe you me, there is a will!!! Stressor #4, is the fact that the one person who has been able to make me feel alright lately, has seem to kind of disappear. you should know who im talking about, and if you dont, than you dont need to know! anyway, this person has just kind of distanced themself from me, and it really truly upsets me. i think its probably my fault because the other day i told this person how i felt and since then they've been kind of weird acting. I guess only time will tell...and ill have to take the person's stance on things, and say that its up to God to decide! This bring me to the point i made earlier on the whole alabama situation. Ashley and i were planning on going down there for spring break, but I'm honestly reconsidering it. I'm not so sure if i want to go or not. sure it would be fun, but i guess i dont want things to be weird! i like things the way they are!!! I guess we'll see how things go! But anyway, the update on my test week is that the first of four raped me in the ass. but whats new! I'm used to it! lol!! but im gonna go for now! Until next time!