Tired!

At the current moment I am at the church at 2:34 in the morning and it seems really weird. I am helping to chaperone an all girls lock-in for the youth group. SO far it's not bad but I am really super tired. I've been up for a really long time and I have to work at 9 in the morning. Well in like 7 hours. Yuck!!! God has been doing some really amazing things in my life lately, and I can not express how great it feels to finally have finally found the one piece that has been missing to my puzzle. For so long I searched and searched for something to fill this weird void that I had always had, and then one day it was just gone, and I realized that finally I understand that I can not fix anything on my own. ONly through God's help can I be the person i want to be and have the things I need to get by in this life. So far he has provided me with everything I need and the only thing left that I am waiting for is a loving Husband who is just as devoted to Christ as I am and will love me for who I am. My faults and blemishes included! Sometimes I wonder if he isn't already in my life and I just don't see him as my "future husband," but instead as just a friend. Maybe he's someone I've loved before and hasn't reciprocated the feelings back. Who knows who it is, all I know is that I want him to come to me soon because I am ready to move on with the rest of my life! On a good note, not that any of this has been bad, some of the girls in the youth group aren't as bad as I had one portrayed them to be. One in particular is super super cool and very glad that she just so happened to choose to be in my small group. I am very excited about that. We'll see how the discussion goes in our small group meeting in a little bit. I think I should probably end this now and get back down to the happenings in the family life center! Until next time...Over and out!

LIfe is Good!

Even on day's like today its hard not to be thankful to be alive! This morning has been such an off day for me. I had to work this morning and so I had to be up at 7 so that I would have ample time to get ready and to get to work on time. So I got to work with like 20 minutes to spare. (The traffic at 8 and 9 a.m. is way different!!) Well needless to say, Daren wasn't there as usual. So I decided to sit and wait for him before I punched in ebcause I wasn't sure if I was really supposed to be there at 9. So, I waited until 9:30 when the jerk finally shows up. First he says, "Good Morning Sunshine!" He has this particually bad habit of calling me Sunshine which I'm not really all that fond of, but thats another story in itself! Anyway, he then tells me that I can't work today. I was like what? Well I had switched weekends with another guy and Ok'ed it with Daren first, come to find out it wasn't ok after all. I'm not allowed and since I'm such a permanent figure around there during the week, today would have made 6 days this week. Forget letting me work today and just finding someone to work for me next Saturday....no that would be toooo Difficult for Daren. That would require him to actually have to do work! Anyway after telling me to "go get holy" he then proceeds to yell at me for changing the schedule when people do it all the time. By then I was so angry with him for not telling me yesterday that I couldn't work with him I just threw everything on the desk and walked out. On my way out the back door he says "see Ya later Michelle." I wanted to say you know what screw you, I do nothing but bend over backwards for this stpid job and you can't even have the decency to tell me this yesterday. I was furious with him. Well I went to church instead and it was great. i was so glad once I got there that I couldn't work today. It made everything better for those two hours. BUt then I went out to dinner with my second family and everything got messed up with my order. I didn't end up getting my food until everyone else was done eating. But I kept a calm head about it and sat there with a smile on my face. IM learning to roll with the punches very well. Well I got a free dinner and that made me happy, so Beth and I were leaivng and I reached into my purse to get out my keys and a bottle of lotion had spilled all over the inside of my purse. GRRRRR!!!!!!! Couldn't anything go right today!?!?! Oh well I came home and took a nap and that made me happy! SO that was my day in a nutshell! I think thats good enough for now! Until next time...over and out!

Does it really get any better than this?

Alright I know I haven't been the greatest in updating lately. But I've been a very very busy girl. My two part time jobs turned themselves into one full time job and I've been working 45-50 hours a week since the last week in May. I'm not going to complain though because quite frankly, I enjoy the money. The even scarier part is that I spend my days off at work as well. Not the entire day but an hour or so. It just doesn't feel right not being there. Ya know what I mean?!? Not to mention a lot of the time I go in to see him. I know he will be there, especially lately, and I like it. I think he does to. I haven't really decided where things are heading with that situation. Things have evolved a little bit and I like where they are going. But in the same aspect I kind of have to pretend that I don't really look at him in that light. When I'm at work I act like he drives me up the wall, which he does, but not in a bad way I suppose. He's cute. He's started drinking out of my stuff and eating my food. I don't know. Today I even gave him what was left of my smoothie and he drank it. I think we would be cute together. We already fight like we are married. At least thats what everyone at work says. They think its cute, but yet neither one of us has admitted anything. I think the way we act gives it away. I claim to want to kill him all the time, but I know people see right through it. Oh well...what ya gonna do? Life has been going really well for me lately. I finally got admitted into SVSU. So I guess its pretty official that I will be a Cardinal in the fall, now the only tough part is finding a place to live. I'm hoping that there will be a single somewhere that I can live in and I won't have to live with people I don't know. Either a single in the Living Center or the village would be fine, at this point I don't really care. Maybe if things take off with him this summer or at the end of the summer, I'll just spend the majority of my time at his house. He doesn't live that far from campus and he does live by himself. So who knows. I finally know what it feels like to be happy....it feels good! I like it. I have needed this for so long, and I don't think it could have come at a better time. YAY for Happiness! I have to work tomorrow and I am really bummed because that means that I have to miss Church, but I have the next two Sunday's off. Not to mention I finally got the entire fourth of July weekend off. I had to do quite a bit of begging but I worked my magic and got it off like I had wanted. Who's up for a weekend at the Lake?!?!?! I'm going even if I do have to go by myself? Considering none of my friends want to go or have plans already. Boo to them! This is why I need a boyfriend who would like to go up north. If it was him though he would have to work anyway! Boo!!! I think thats all for now. All I have to say is GOD IS GOOD! He is always faithful and he will definitely show you the right path to take in your life if you just ask! I'm proof of that! Until next time...Over and out!

Life is Good!

Let's see...things have been going really well for me lately. It seems like all the really important things that have been causing me stress have worked themselves out, and I feel really good about it! I think school is taken care of, I've made up my mind on what I want to do, and I've already taken the proper steps to get to where I want to be. The only thing that I need worry about now is the apartment situation. I'm not worried, if God has gotten me this far, I have faith that he will fix that too. So I just need to leave everything in his hands, and be thankful for what he does for me! Anyway, now that I've been in such a good mood lately, let me explain why. My job is great. Seriously, I love the people I work with, they are all really cool, and super super nice. So that is going well, I need to figure out what's going on with the job in Lansing, I haven't been there in like 2 weeks, and I feel really bad about it, but what can I do, really??? This job is closer, it pays almost the same and I'm getting a lot more hours. THey are cutting back on my hours though. Daren informed me yesterday that I take all the hours, even though he makes the schedule, and gave me today off. I was orginally scheduled to work today but I got the day off and hung out with Matt Ayotte, and Beth. IT was cool. For the time being I have weekends off, and I still am putting in like close to 40 hours a week. I'm excited for those pay checks. Another thing that has me excited lately, is a guy. I know it sounds silly, but it's really weird. Like at first it was just a little crush...one of the kind where you like a person you can't really have. But maybe it's not really like that? I'm not sure. We've been flirting with each other every time we work together...and at first I thought it was just sort of a playful thing that happened to make the day enjoyable...ya know? But today we went out to Haithco, me, Beth, and Matt, and I went up and was talking to Daren and Beth and Matt both agreed that there was some tension there....and that were definitely flirting with each other. They confirmed that it wasn't totally one sided. Who knows, maybe there is something behind it. We'll see I suppose, only time will tell. I think the main thing at this point that bring frustration and confusion to my life is my Wes situation. I thought maybe it was over, but last night I made a huge lapse in judgement. I went to Bay City and hung out with him and some of his friends. I think it was a mistake to have done that. I just couldn't tell him no...it's weird, he has his strange control over me and I have a really hard time telling him no. We ended up making out, and I guess maybe I just miss having someone to kiss. That will get me every time, and it's not like I saw him and started making out with him....I tried to resist for so long, and then finally I just had to give in. Sometimes I don't get him. Then on the way home I freaking got pulled over. The cop thought I had been drinking but in reality it was 3:30 in the morning and i had been up since 8:00. I was TIRED. Anyway, the jerk flashed his flashlight in my eyes like 3 times, and then asked me if I thought I could pass a field sobriety test, and when I told him yes, he went back to his car, and I was so afraid he was going to make me do one. THankfully when he came back he just handed me my license and let me go. That would have sucked. Today was great, spent time with friends...so relaxing. Saw him, it was wonderful. His eyes make me smile, and as much as he makes fun of me, I can't help but like him more! OH I want this to work out. I think thats all for now, I need to finish cleaning up this room and then get to bed. Until next time...Over and out!