"I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair, I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind, I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme. I hate it when your always right, I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry, I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call, but mostly I hate the way I don't hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all." That about sums up how I feel right now. I hate you but I can't bring myself to hate you at the same time. I care about you so much that no matter how you treat me, or no matter what you say to me I still want to be with you. I don't know how to get rid of those feelings, I don't know how to put you out of my mind. Believe me if I did know, I would have a long time ago. time and time again I have done nothing but be there for you, spend time with you, drop my friends to have fun with you. But time and time again, my feelings go unreciprocated. I wish more than anything in this world that you cared for me like I cared for you. But as time goes on, I am beginning to realize that we just aren't right for each other. It doesn't matter how much I feel when I'm around you or how incredibly happy you make me. Because in the end it all ends up like it is right now, you not caring and me sitting here with tears streaming down my face wondering to myself what i did wrong, and why you dont care about me. And as much as i hurt right now, i can't bring myself to not care about you less. All the feelings I have when I see you, or when I wake up next to you are still coursing through my body, and they will until the day I die. Granted they may fade, and not be quite so persistent, but they will always be there. Because once you love someone, they are with you forever. There are times when I need you to be there, times when I don't want to talk to anyone but you, but it's those times that i understand that what i want can never be. I'm sorry if you're afraid of something, I don't really know if you are, but something inside tells me that you are. I'm sorry if you aren't comfortable enough around me. I'm sorry that I can't be everything to you that you are to me. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, but this is just the way life is. You dont choose who your heart falls for, and believe me, if I had any control over my heart, I wouldn't have let things get this way. If I had any idea last may that things were going to end like this, I would have never spent every single moment of my summer with you, and if not with you, thinking about you. Sometimes I think you have no clue as to how much I care about you. If i had a penny for everytime your face or your voice runs through my head in one day, i would definitely be a rich person. Someday you will let someone in, and when that day comes, you'll understand how I feel. Whoever she is, she will be one lucky person, because I know you know how to care, and I know that you are great! I only wish you saw me the same way! Sometimes its the things you dont' say to me that hurt the most. I sit and wonder where you are, what you're doing, and if you're safe. I'm sure you're probably ok. I wish you would talk to me the way you used to and things weren't so strained. I dont know.......