Drastic Changes...

So life is never certain, i think that is the one thing I have learned in the past few years. Things that we thought would always be...change and are no more. People you thought you would always have leave and can never be replaced. This is the time every year when I get very nostalgic and look back on the way life used to be. Back when I was naive and thought nothing would ever be difficult. I had on these rose colored glasses and everything seemed to be the way I wanted. I always imagined that all my hopes and dreams would come to be without a second thought, my life would be simple, I would have a great marriage and live happily ever after. What a story I was telling myself. Recently, those rose colored glasses have faded to a nasty shade of grey. As hard as I've tried, none of those things have come to pass. My hopes and dreams get shattered with every new step I take and my marriage is in shambles, and not once, EVER, has my life been simple. In fact, it has almost always consistently been a let down or a failure, in some way shape or form.

I'm changing that. Andrew is moving into Saginaw, and I, well I am moving in another direction. I'm moving South. For a little while, I've decided that I'm going to move to Arkansas to live with my brother and sister-in-law and try and figure some things out. I need to sort through some things, mainly thoughts, emotions, feelings, and figure out where my life is going and who is going to remain a part of it. Arkansas may seem a little extreme for "sorting things out" when in reality, I could do that just about any other place around here, but there are people and situations that I need to remove myself from and be able to think clearly without having any temptations in my way to sway my decision one way or another. I know that if I were to stay in Michigan, people and certain advantages could quite possibly tempt me to do things that would make this relationship otherwise irreconcilable. Some things are just to easily taken advantage of, and I know my will power isn't always the strongest.

I'm not sure how long I'll be there, but I do know that it will be long enough for me to find a job and start some roots. Although they may not be too deep, there will be some sort of rooting taking place. This isn't going to be an easy fix, and I want to know that I'm making the best decision possible for the parties involved. So....wish me luck on this new endeavor and that I may find some peace of mind while making life better.