wanderer

For the last few days I have been shacking up in Ohio with my sister-in-law and her dad. I always enjoy my time spent at this place, for it's not the first time I've made myself a house guest. Although I enjoy myself and have a good time, I can't help but look forward to whats going to happen next. I forget to live in the moment and enjoy the circumstances at hand, instead I push them to happen faster than they normally would and then feel like I'm missing out on life. It's my own fault, but as much as I try, I can't seem to change.

I'm beginning to realize that I'm a restless soul. I don't like being in one place for too long because then I feel comfortable and get lazy. I don't like the idea of being "comfortable" in a relationship because it leads to boredom and then your attention gets drawn away by other things. It's not fair to let another person believe that you can give them all of your attention, thoughts, hopes, dreams...when in reality you're not sure you can ever give them up to one individual person. I want to be free to roam and come and go as I please without having to really answer to anybody in particular. I like the idea of being my own person and not having to worry about anyone but myself. Most of the time, I have a hard enough trying to do that....worrying about myself.

I want to travel. I want to see things and go places and if I'm with someone, they need to want to do the same things. One day, I will see the world, and I will enjoy every bit of it, with or without someone. I need to be happy again and I need to stop filling my life with empty things, things that temporarily fill the void, until something else new and exciting comes around. I'm excited for what my next few months hold in store for me. New beginnings and a fresh start at the life I thought was ready to begin 2 years ago. Bring on what may happen and I'm ready to role with the punches.